So with convention season reaching a fevered pitch during the spring and summer I thought that it would be fun to introduce the finer points of one of my convention staples, the MRE. Now I know that the thing says COMMERCIAL RESALE IS ILLEGAL, but there is no actual law that I have seen and they sell the things at the Travis AFB commissary anyways so if one wanted to one could get these things, even the manufacturers sell them directly though you have to buy a whole case at a time. Still at about $7.25 (there is a Tailored Operational Training Meal that goes for about $4.22 that has less calories, though is not nearly as impact resistant) a pop it’s not nearly as bad as those hotdogs, hamburgers, and small bowls of chili that the hotel or convention center tries to sell you, I am sure usagijen is going to have a fit at what I am about to say, but there certainly are benefits to having a light weight lunch that is rated to be shoved off C-130s. Besides it tastes just as good if not better than the standard convention food, and at least when you make it is fairly hot and not mildly warm to cold. If you can get a hold of these and your venue won’t have reasonably priced food I’d recommend getting an MRE especially if your schedule is packed, less time spent eating means more time doing other stuff. Besides it’s a better option than eating fast food at every meal or getting that $1.50 1 oz. bag of chips. So yeah I had one that was getting a bit old and decided it would be fun to open it up just for fun.
They call it beef steak, I call it mystery meat…
Despite the jokes of MRE meaning Materials Resembling Edibles, Massive Rectal Expulsions, Meals Rejected by Everyone, etc. it’s sort of like canned food, though the meat patties are often tough there are superior menus like the pot roast, rice, and beef stew. Other than the main course which can really be hit or miss the rest of it is usually good. The cookies are dry but edible and it tastes like a cookie, the pound cake is better, and I personally thing the crackers are okay since they have a high fiber content so that it won’t clog your system, plus they usually give you cheese spread or jam to go with it. I don’t like the wheat snack bread all too much but it does fill in for the crackers. Otherwise the fruit tastes like canned fruit and you do get candy like Skittles and M&Ms. If you are lucky you get one of the prized milk shake powders which are pretty much a meal in and of themselves and are often the most palatable part., otherwise they are excellent trade items in the field. Just be sure to drink plenty of water since you will need it… They also come in vegetarian and have fewer problems than the chicken for the most part.
Yeah my kitchen was a mess that day…
When I first saw these things in high school I though that they were the coolest things since I expected canned spam. That flameless ration heater isn’t much nowadays but back in the late 1990s I thought they were something, the thing relies on the oxidation of magnesium which produces hydrogen gas which you don’t want to get a good whiff of. The water gets really hot and is undrinkable but it gets the job done. The tiny bottle of Tabasco sauce is standard and is a god send if you need to add flavor to something or if you just like spicy foods. Just keep in mind these things really pack the calories averaging about 1200 for a full MRE since soldiers burn more calories running jumping and shooting.. The thing also comes with waterproof matches that usually work when dampened so if you need to burn those loli doujins in a hurry you can do it fairly easily and even in the rain! Still the flameless ration heater really isn’t allowed to go on a plane nakkid so you will need a sealed MRE if you are planning on flying. Otherwise boiling is a good enough method of the heater fails or you lose it. You also need a small knife or some sort of cutting device because the pouched can be really tough and even then you don’t want to peel it at the notches. Better to cut laterally so it’s more accessible and easier to eat. If nothing else you can laugh at what passes for food for poor bastards like me during the first few weeks of hitting the ground.
More like any beans…at least they got rid of those lima bean dishes.
Opening an MRE is like opening a present, you don’t know what’s in it and even when you open something with a weird name you might find that it is something you normally eat any way, such as the fruit pastry which is really a pop tart. If nothing else get some for the zombie invasion or a natural disaster kit.
Uncle Sam is not bound by advertising laws, because he bought them not you…
The modern hard tack.
These actually taste pretty good.
Though it’s not the healthiest thing in the world…
Yeah those are real tootsie rolls, Uncle Sam like to have fun with words.
Ah it feels like the public school lunch program all over again.
Just make sure not to eat these at before you rack out.
Unlike Akiko’s Jammu it won’t kil you.