Sailor Moon 13-18: A Most Rabid and Unscrupulous Mazinger Z Fan

JADITE SMASH!

So after crashing Ami and Rei’s yuri dayto Jadite is castigated as being full of lose and fail. Queen Beryl gives him one last chance to redeem himself by defeating the Sailor Senshi and to that end in a fit of incompetence and cartoon evil Jadite merely threatens to raze Juban to the ground instead of torching another prefecture just to show he means business. He chooses an airport as the dueling ground and they are to meet at high moon. The local police are little trouble as Jadite puts them to sleep instead of doing something nefarious and nasty like make them his hostages. While it isn’t a Raid on Entebbe for Usagi, Ami, and Rei they try to do a little infiltration only to get caught transforming. now I am not sure how a new set of clothes and a tiara constitute much of disguise but I suppose Jadite’s gaze must have been focused else where. I can understand him spotting Rei given how they were co-workers for a while. Jadite tries using grounded jumbo jets to run over his quarry and Luna states that under their heroine contracts none of the Sailor Senshi can trash property like Mazinger Z in Atami. Seems liability is a being thing in this series, and it does much to dampen the collateral damage. Still Jadite makes the biggest mistake of his life by hating on the yuri, and to that end for his impudence the Sailor Senshi almost flatten him with his own planes.

For failing miserably and talking trash about all women when his boss is a woman Queen Beryl freezes Jadite in carbonite, but sadly does not use him as a wall decoration. A pity that would have made Jadite more useful in perfect hibernation than he was in life. Nehprite is tasked with gathering energy, but Zoisite takes the chance to make insults. I was always conflicted when it came to Zoisite I remember him being a real girl and at the time it made plenty of sense though it was fun having a female baddie other than Beryl. However because Zoisite is clearly a dude in canon it’s kind of like yaoi vs. yuri which I do find much more fun this time around. Still Nephrite is oddly more funny this time around in a post Shin Mazinger Z world.

Nephrite it turns out is a  high rolling otaku that made the Resident Evil mansion his pad, drives around ina a sweet Ferrari, and likes to carve symbols onto the craziest of things though never a toothpick… Still without access to Alloy Z Nephrite uses his very own Alloy N to make special items. First up is an Alloy N tennis racket that he gives to Naru’s non-blood related onee-sama and local Princess of Tennis. I did enjoy the mild amountd of loli-yuri when Naru was recalling the past, it was very adorable and made me DAWWWWW. Still Nephrite is having the same trouble with the Sailor Senshi as Jadite did and his lack of a hand that is BURNING RED he has nothing to tell him to GRASP VICTORY.

Ami-chan is about to lose her favorite park when Rei decides that before it gets turned into pavement that she will go there once with a boyfriend. Rei sets Mamoru as her target and her introduction ends in a disaster, still Mamoru is a weirdo (or rather Hero depending on who youy ask) who thinks that going out underage girls is quite reasonable. Usagi does not take kindly to losing Rei to a dude and starts stalking them. Nephrite gives the miffed park landscaper an Alloy N hat that gives him command over furries, some of which assault Luna, but Alloy N weapons and the resulting monsters are incapable of using cool attacks like Rust Hurricane and the resulting defeat of Nephrite’s goon is a foregone conclusion.

Next target is a bride to be that is given an Alloy N roll of cloth which sparks some delusions to being a fashion genius in Usagi who has few skills at sewing. I won’t rail her on it since I am not much better and most guys I know can do little more than patch jobs to repair uniforms. Still the short portly salaryman being very un-Patrick like was forgivable since we got Ami and Rei onto a ship… It was also fun to watch Rei misappropriate shrine property to win a contest. The next one to fall is a photojournalist that probably deserves some 30mm cannon fire to the face for being rather lecherous when with the Alloy N Camera. Still I have to hand it to Usagi for being rather creative when she found her swim wear full of holes, I am sure there is some disappointment that she didn’t just use her school issued one.

Nephrite starts playing a little more dirty and targets a girl, Mika, in Shingo’s class. Shingo however has no class for when gifted with a token of affection he smashes it into atoms. This displeases Zeus immensely and Usagi delivers a most righteous BIG BANG PUNCH tot he top of his tiny skull. My admiration for Usagi shot up immensely at that point. Still Nephirite’s Alloy N doll is still compels Mika to make more scary little toys. The resulting monster is however slightly more dangerous as it has a near ROCKET PUNCH ability still a Shining Tiara to the weak point is all it takes. Usagi goes back ot patch things up between Shingo and Mika to make a really cool departure. Shingo’s Sailor Moon figure was most lacking and Zeus allowed it to be destoryed than allow such an affront to Sailor Moon exist. Mika however does a banged up job making a 1/8 Sailor Moon figure. However Shingo demonstrates his siscon once again and earns Mika’s ire.

I was probably having a lot more fun with Nephrite scribbling his symbol on random objects much in the same way the Alloy Z logo found itself on tooth picks. Sailor Moon did come first but in a post Shin Mazinger Z world it becomes kind of ridiculous and fun. Jadite’s end was morbidly funny given how jumbo jets can be very dangerous weapons these days and it was humorous for Luna to point out how they couldn’t just blow up the planes. Cries of it being worth more than their allowances for years on end was kind of silly as at least Ami-chan had a real good chance to make a lot of money with her smarts. At the time I wasn’t sure what to think of Rei trying to go steady with Mamoru even knowing how it all ended, I still am not entirely sure what to make of it. There didn’t seem to be much mutual attraction and it does come up later, nevertheless I was most amused by how Rei went about it and how Usagi was under the impression that Mamoru was out to despoil her Rei-chan. The shift in attitude will come but for now it seems almost like yuri fueled jealousy on Usagi’s part. I was also highly amused by the near ROCKET PUNCH but since it lacked the ability to communicate with it’s FISTS it was still a step down. I suppose my adoration of G-Gundam can be traced here too since Sailor Moon is very super robot in feel as it borrows generously from super sentai tropes.

While I am sure there will be cries of how shallow the relationship triangles are I really don’t mind since I don’t want to see Usagi and Rei really have a falling out over Tuxedo Kamen. Moreover it’s not like every love triangle ends with a righteous slaughter of the loser male lead so my mileage is limited unless there is a super stabby yandere involved, crying over the triangle is not my idea of fun. Shipping wars can be fun but not if there is excessive angst and weepy crap on the part of every one involved. It wasn’t exactly love at first sight as it is usually these days and for a long time Usagi was uninterested in Mamoru so in a way they did go on a long journey of love and the first time around it wasn’t so obvious at least to me and probably a lot of kids who watched it for the first time. Also Mamoru despite being a obstacle to the yuri feel isn’t that much of a stinking asshole of the stripe I can easily hate. He wasn’t asking himself who the hell he loved or some other stupid question that would make an Army Private Major seem like Sun Tzu, and he seemed to be going along with Rei because he was a weak willed guy with issues regarding breaking girls’ hearts. Again these days his going for some one that much his junior is probably seen as pretty damn awesome. Besides we got Rei dressed more lady-like out of the bargain.

Also I should be getting a copy of Sailor Moon S real soon, paid out almost $350 for it but such is my fanboyism. I hope everyone who is still following these posts will join me in my excessive praise for Haruka and Michiru along with generous gushing for All Woman Sailor Pluto. After R of course…

Sadly for the time being my laptop is stuck in a restart loop and can’t load, fucking WIndows. Hope to be continuing soon.

Look at that evil man who stole that poor girl’s shoe!

In Sailor Moon Plane BOARD YOU!

Would have made for a real nice decoration…

I wonder how many felt that gender bending Zoisite was a good idea.

I hear Nephrite rented it from Umbrella…

The Princess of Tennis.

Alloy N racket.

Don’t be shy Ami-chan just wrap your arms around Usagi and…

Damn those future loser males.

DAWWWWWW.

Convoy…

Lecherous Rei is really something.

Rei should totally stat headbutting her enemies, what strength!

Alloy N Hat.

A Rei-chan Fantasy…

A great Arab insult.

But Luna in the name of the Yuri, Usagi must use her powers to defend Rei’s honor.

Oh Usagi beware of Umino’s bearing money.

Mamoru sensed that he had earned the ire of a million fanboys…

Damn squirrels I used to cap them for fun during Oregon Trail.

Should have just abused the pen.

Sweet car.

The Winds of the King. Zenshin. Keiritsu. Tempa Kyouran. LOOK THE EAST IS BURNING RED!

Alloy N silk.

Not exactly the best disguise in the world Usagi.

After all that Usagi is still alive.

That…looks pretty awful.

Best couple in show…

I wonder how long it will last..

The grand prize…

The Winner.

Worry not Rei-chan a marriage for Ami means a marriage for you…

How kill him with a roll of cloth Usagi.

With the ascendancy of Zoisite it turned itno a Yuri vs. Yaoi war. Yuri prevailed.

If only it were a BURSTING MACHINE GUN PUNCH.

Alloy N creepy doll.

Such an insult was thankfully SMASHED INTO ATOMS.

At least we got a hint of All Woman Rei out of this.

Hooray for taking Mamoru to the Doll display, now take him to a salon to emasculate him even more!

Not quite a ROCKET PUNCH…

A very Schwartz-like entrance.

You sis-con is making her angry…

Not bad at all…where can I get one?

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6 Comments

  1. Posted July 5, 2010 at 6:15 am | Permalink

    Rei’s play for Mamoru deserves a Yoshino-style “Rei-chan no baka!”

    Also, it’s too bad that Alloy N isn’t as GAR as Super Alloy Z. Next time, Nephrite should at least go for something that requires a hammy narrator every time it’s introduced.

    • Crusader
      Posted July 5, 2010 at 8:04 am | Permalink

      I prefer to think that Rei-chan was attempting loss leader boyfriend denial…

      To be fair Nephrite probably had a limited budget and could not buy any amount of Alloy Z. Still if you do things on the cheap there will be consequences…

      Oh and did you get your patch yet?

      • Posted July 5, 2010 at 9:21 am | Permalink

        Not yet sadly. Then again, the post office here is slower than Usagi’s brain when she’s hungry.

        • Crusader
          Posted July 6, 2010 at 2:45 am | Permalink

          Well let me know when you do. Man I wish snail mail were faster.

  2. happy
    Posted July 8, 2010 at 4:31 am | Permalink

    wow I just finished the whole series like 2 weeks ago

    • Crusader
      Posted July 8, 2010 at 10:10 am | Permalink

      Well it will take me a long while…

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