Girls und Panzer – 02: The Great Panzer Fetch Quest

Code Name: Stalker

There are times when I wish you really could just find reparable tanks just about anywhere, but the sad reality is that knocked out tanks are very prone to have unexploded ordinance in their hulls. Thankfully the Great Tank Fetch Quest ended with everyone in one piece and while they Type 89 is barely worth the scrap it’s made of, I suppose you can’t argue against finding something for free. However I can’t help but wonder why the Type 89 was left in the cleft of a mountain, it was almost as if a more intelligent species decided that the best use of a Type 89 was to shoot into a mountain. If there is one thing that is better than a free tank, it would be free maintenance courtesy of someone else. I hope that the automotive club will take a new liking to treads instead of tires.

The crew of the Panzer IV is gains one new member and Yukari is very enthusiastic about her new job, I for one think that she was born with an Iron Cross. Even if she wasn’t given her ever present mess kit, I think she might also be keeping a few K Rations too. Mako makes her first appearance and hopefully being drafted as the driver will serve her well. If nothing else the noisy engine of tanks will be plenty enough to keep her awake. Miho seems to have a very accomplished one-sama who has a super nice Panzer VI, as much as poor Miho seems to slave away in her one-sama’s shadow I am sure that they will come together eventually. Maho might well be the final boss or a mid-boss and if that is the case Maho’s Panzer VI is more than a match for all five tanks of Miho’s platoon, more over I suspect that Maho is a Tiger Ace. Thus if they stick with their tanks as is I think we can expect a more lopsided engagement than Wittmann vs. British 22nd Armored Brigade, 7th Armored Division at Villers-Bocage.

Saori is trying extremely hard to prove that she is into boys by boasting that she has boyfriends in every port… I am selling this notion, at most she is single, but more likely she is in denial about her growing yuri affections. Saori did spray down the rest of the crew for her own wet t-shirt contest and was seemingly over joyed when the female tank instructor was coming. Then there is the issue of her using megane mode and cooking up dinner for her friends and talking about how it was all “practice” for courtship. I am sure they adhere to some “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy but in Saori’s case I don’t but I can tell… Also blatantly asking Ami if she was popular was a clear play to see if Ami was still on the market.

Speaking of Tank Instructor Ami, she made the biggest entrance so far. Not only does she arrive from the back of a C-17 she lands just right to flip a Ferrari. To show how much contempt she has for rich boy vehicles, she even backs right into it. There are few things that show as much contempt for something than running it over with a main battle tank. Ami gets to play with a new Type 10, but I do feel bad for her in that she can’t go play with the kids because her tank is OP compared to the abysmal Type 89.

As for the Type 89 I was laughing a bit when the Team Volleyball wanted to take on the Panzer IV, granted at least they had some grasp of their technical inferiority and cut a secret non-aggression pact with the StuG III. Saori is many things but she is not a tank commander. Saori is however, quite power hungry and wants to take over the Panzer club by knocking out the school president. Team A, or rather the A-Team had the right of it when the commander is supposed to be use kicking signals to the driver. Tanks were noisy back in the day they didn’t have headsets for the whole crew. Since you couldn’t communicate verbally you communicated with signals, only I suspect that the girls are smaller than the ideal tank crewman the Panzer IV was designed for. If they ever had to incorporate Soviet Armor they can make the transition more easily given how the idea tank crewman of the era was 5’4”.

The fetch quest aside I cannot wait to see them take on Maho and her Panzer VI, that would be a good fight because either they will need upgrades or they make up the wonkiest reason ever devised so that at Tiger I loses to the lowly Type 89.

For those who don’t know the Panzer 38(t) was a Czechoslovak design, all of them were seized when Germany annexed them so that Chamberlain could have “Peace in our time”.

Apparently Godzilla thought so little of the Type 89 that he smacked the thing into a mountain…

I guess they just had to include the underwater dungeon…

A Zoo Dungeon? Did they have to slay a dragon to save the M3?

You mean A Team…

Shuld be Team Z to reflect the limited usefulness of the Type 89.

They really should be number 2 on the depth chart though…

I hope for the sake of you all the thing will not be a coffin for 6 when you guys have to fight late war models.

They really should draft a 4th crewman.

LOL only if you like your armor spalling in a fire fight and killing you all…

Sneaky Saori had herself a wet t-shirt contest…

But the Nanban have the best ships in Shogun 2…

Clearly this is a yuri party…

Just ask Saori, I am sure she will give you a hand.

Putting all the 75mm ducks in a row.

Hey I thought as Panzer tank crews you all had t learn to maintain your vehicles. You do understand that once it goes to motor pool it might never come back right?

Sure you do Saori, I just find this hetero act to be adorable…

Indeed for while the Tiger I was older it was more lovingly crafted than the Tiger II.

Saori knows this very well…

Yeah I don’t buy that boyfriend talk…

Oh man this reminds me of the glory days of Tokyo Wars at the local arcade.

Yeah other than having a Tiger I…

Don’t forget about upgrading your tank…

Yukari bought the deluxe mess kit.

Hana is going to have to learn how to peel potatoes…

Megane Saori is fine too.

Mako is so very right.

I ask myself that question everyday…

NOW THAT is an entrance.

Type 10 no like Ferrari, Type 10 SMASH.

NICE JOB Ami, I would have done the same to that gas guzzling chariot of the ridiculously wealthy.

How so?

Hana likes Ami as is.

Saori wants to know her level of competition for the Ami sweepstakes.

Good to see that Ami is not taking the Allen Iverson view of practice.

I know you ladies are mad but please don’t be crazy mad and keep the Type 89.

It’s practice, not a real battle.

Kid, battle is all about controlled confusion.

No one ever does…

What we? French?

LOL Internet.

I am sure you can find the original manual in pdf.

Clearly she was in the wrong forum.

Too bad as maligned as the Sherman was it had a heater, padded seats, and air conditioning…

Yukari is the best.

It can’t even knock down a tree…

Hey remember the Germans rolled through the Ardennes with these tanks, a branch is hardly cause for concern.

Or just squeeze them on the shoulder…

Apparently Saori has some political aspirations.

There you go again trying to feign hetero…

Because Saori is BOSS.

Just wait until you get to fire a high velocity AT gun…

There is no crying in Panzerfarhen!

I guess they are praying to Patton…


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  1. Kah
    Posted October 22, 2012 at 4:25 am | Permalink

    Ohh the Ep2 writeup! Crusader does not disappoint! xD

    • Crusader
      Posted October 23, 2012 at 10:09 pm | Permalink

      I will try to be more punctual, but my job forces me to work odd hours. Thanks for reading though.

      • Kah
        Posted October 26, 2012 at 12:58 am | Permalink

        They’re fun read.
        Reminds me a little of Kuroganes’ style where you show that you’re having a great time watching, but with more overall to read!

    • Tony
      Posted November 25, 2012 at 1:36 am | Permalink

      I agree, this was a great write up. Love reading this after I watch the episode to get a more in debt analysis on the episode.

  2. Whatsht
    Posted October 22, 2012 at 4:40 am | Permalink

    I’m wonder why are the tanks in weird places, even if you have to close down the elective, you could have kept the tanks(for when the other schools start shooting at you guys)

    • Crusader
      Posted October 23, 2012 at 10:10 pm | Permalink

      Nothing makes sense it was a classic fetch quest. As for the budget cuts, clearly the anti-panzer lobby won, much to the detriment of quality education.

  3. HostInTheShell
    Posted October 22, 2012 at 5:36 am | Permalink

    Well at least the Pz IV and StuG III have potential 7.5 cm KwK 40 L/48’s in their future, and hopefully some armor upgrades. Not honestly sure what they’re going to do with the 38(t) short of a chassis-up replacement to turn it into a Marder or Hetzer. I suppose they could turn the M3 into an M7 Priest, or maybe just switch to a Sherman or something, but I’m not sure any upgrades exist for a Type 89, so that one at least would probably have to be replaced with a new tank.

    I do find it kind of hilarious how far ahead Ami’s Type 10 is over every other tank in the show so far, though it does give me some hope we might see more MBTs. Gonna laugh if we end up with a school team of a Leopard 2, a Panzerhaubitze 2000, an Abrams, a Type 10, and…not sure what the 38(t) would end up as if MBTed. T72 if by origin country maybe, or another Leopard 2 if by operating country.

    • Crusader
      Posted October 23, 2012 at 10:18 pm | Permalink

      I would prefer they convert the 38(t) to a Hetzer or swap it out for something better, perhaps a T-34 taken in battle… Going from M3 to M4 Sherman would be nice, even better if they make it a firefly.

      There are no upgrades to the Type 89, whichis why it is the sux… I hope they get something better to replace it.

      I think Ami is the only one with an MBT, but who knows maybe the other instructors have MBTs as well, maybe even a Chieftain and Merkava too. I think that the kids are barred from MBTs in school scrimmages, still I am all for them upgrading their current tank inventory to a 1943 standard.

      • HostInTheShell
        Posted October 23, 2012 at 10:58 pm | Permalink

        Yeah, if they allow origin country swaps I am all for getting some Soviet Reliability into Kampfgruppe Miho. My personal preference would be stretching it to 1944 tanks, and getting a T-34-85, which combined with a Sherman (Easy 8 if they’re lucky) and upgraded StuG and Panzer IV would be a pretty good blend of power and speed so long as Miho uses each for their strengths (leaving the Type 89 the odd one out, but I honestly don’t know what they plan to do there.)

        • Huntermad
          Posted October 27, 2012 at 5:29 am | Permalink

          Who care about T-34-85, just straight up replace it with T-44. Same 85mm but with armor nearly a match with Panther and better mobility and speed.
          Easy 8 is overrated, E2 is the way to go. u are slow but they can’t hurt U anyway.
          Fuck Stug, Jadgpanther can take the all.

          • Crusader
            Posted October 29, 2012 at 11:04 pm | Permalink

            We want to keep it within the same period, so let’s try and cut out the borderline post war models and variants. Hard to say on the T-44 it was never used operationally. Besides I care more about operational results than paper panzer analysis.

            StuGs were the best bang for your buck and they could make more of them. Jagdpanthers were nice but less than 500 were built and the StuG crews were the elite of the Heer artillery while the Jagdpanther crews were lesser trained. It’s not always about paper specs. Also I would rather see a Panzer V first, we haven’t even seen anything beyond 1943 yet for Panzerfarhen.

  4. Posted October 22, 2012 at 8:36 am | Permalink

    Saori thought the tank instructor was going to be a man. She was disappointed when it turned out to be a woman.

    • Posted October 22, 2012 at 1:40 pm | Permalink

      I wonder why she thought that. Tankery is a girl’s thing, after all. Sure, you can have male coaches for girls’ sports teams; happens all the time. But that’s because there’s always a male equivalent, which doesn’t seem to be the case here.

    • Posted October 23, 2012 at 6:13 am | Permalink

      Clearly Saori’s “hetero act” was doomed to fail from the start.

    • Crusader
      Posted October 24, 2012 at 5:59 pm | Permalink

      I also think it was a stretch to think the tank instructor was male since we are lead to believe that Panzerfarhen is a female sport.

  5. Posted October 22, 2012 at 1:46 pm | Permalink

    My yuri goggles don’t seem to be calibrated to this show. I’m just not feeling it. I mean, I know I should, but I’m not. Even Yukari comes off less yuri and more the common “I want to have your tank babies” sports-hero worship.

    Maybe once the fanart comes out I can have more data to work with.

    • Crusader
      Posted October 24, 2012 at 5:53 pm | Permalink

      You might need a depot level repair for your yuri goggles.

  6. Posted October 23, 2012 at 6:18 am | Permalink

    The fact that they’re doing tank combat exercises with LIVE AMMUNITION floors me. That this elephant wasn’t even addressed is setting off alarms here–wouldn’t be surprised if the setting turns out to be some sort of prettified crapsack post-war world, like a much more entertaining version of Shin Sekai Yori.

    Great review. Looking forward to the expectedly explosive next episode, and your impressions.

    • Crusader
      Posted October 24, 2012 at 6:02 pm | Permalink

      Having the cutsey bright theme would seem to point to a mellow series, but they might go GRIMDARK on us just cause…

  7. Zulkarnian
    Posted October 24, 2012 at 1:21 pm | Permalink

    very cool man

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