Paedometer: The definitive index

Note: Contributions come from so many parties in IRC, that i will just thank the people from #animenano for their input.

The above are illustrations of what you would call lolis.

The history of the paedometer has gone way back ever since there was the creation of this marvellous thing called anime. Long ago, no one knew what anime was and with that, there was a stagnant growth in the sophiscation and complexity of human beings. As many of the world leaders started to figure out how to advance civilization, it was decided through Japan that a creation of animation, interestingly named as anime, will impact the world of many teenagers and adults in a way that cannot be fathomed before it.

With that, the creation of the paedometer was finally realised. However, what is a pedometer and what does it do? This research paper will explain clearly what it is used for. There is of course another scientific instrument that measures steps with a similar name, but we are not overly concerned with that. Please do not confuse the two together.

They measure completely different things.

The paedometer is one of the most scientific methods to investigate the occurance of a very special phenomena. In the world of anime, there are various fetishes that tended to be on the queer side of nature, but seemingly an elitist class that is somehow revered yet despised for the very same reasons.

The paedometer is first heard by the researcher from the sacred words of Waterfall, who is later found to be lying around a torture room, with the fingerprints of various young girls in the proximity. His cause of death is currently unknown.

The use of the paedometer is simple. It measures from a scale of 1 to 7 the propensity of liking lolis or having strange thoughts about anime characters who tend to be below legal age. A loli is simply defined as any underage anime character that tends to have the following characterisitics but need not have any of them. They usually have really cute expressions, with the

The person that is measured using this paedometer is a lolicon. A lolicon is operationally defined as a term used to describe an attraction to any girl beneath the age of consent. Hence, I will now evaluate the scales of 1 to 7 in the pedometer. 1 is the lowest score where it indicates an apparent lack of lolicon-ness while 7 indicates the strongest connection toward lolicon-ness.

To accurately measure the exact position of a certain disposition of the anime watcher, it is required to go down the index to see the exact description of each defined number in the scale.

———————————————-

Ratings system.

Level 1 – Lolihater

Completely no interest in lolis and has a irrational hatred toward them. In fact, people belonging in this level will actively go on strike and fight against people with opposite orientations, shoving/killing/torturing them until the concerned parties conducting any act in a positive pedometer cease their activities. They are often seen as otaku-killers or haters of anything that is cute, cuddly and underage. Hence, they are in fact a completely dangerous entity to the world of lolicons. Avoid them at all costs.

Level 2 – Loliclosetdisser (scientific name: LCD)

Generally apathetic toward lolis. They do not have a strong hatred toward lolis but often will diss people off with any notion of lolicophilia. However, they will usually avoid any anime with a strong hint or presence of lolis. Hence, anime like Ichigo Mashimaro, Gunslinger girl, Bottle fairy, Higurashi and the likes will be keenly avoided by people belonging to this group. They do not usually openly state their opinions but will quietly stab loli plushies when given a chance. They do not like cute stuff.

Level 3 – Lolignore

This group is much less extreme compared to level 2. Even though they do not like lolis, they will generally be able to tolerate the existence of lolis appearing in the anime as long as they do not hold centrestage in the fulcrum of the plot. That said, whenever anyone mentions something like “OMG, RIKA IS SO CUTE, MIIPA~”, you can tell immediately the people who are in level 3. They usually keep quiet and start IMing someone that has similiar preferences to them, questioning the sanity of the person who has just acclaimed that.

Level 4 – Commoner

Commoner. Nothing needs to be said since the commoner is just that. Common. No defining characteristics, no special magic, no imagination. Just a completely boring anime watcher. Whoever lies in this group deserves to just rot in hell, for they are considered to be the worst anime watcher, even to those at the extreme ends of the scale.

Level 5 – Loliker

The direct opposite of level 3 on this scale. They tend to mildly promote their liking of lolis in anime, even though they never scream out loud about their affliations due to fear of proclaiming it out loud. They are more of a neutral group toward lolis, but they do have specialties usually in niche liking. Hence, they might sometimes have a lesser preference toward lolis of certain styles or personalities. They are rather selective usually, which makes them generally more acceptable, even to the lolihaters.

Level 6 – Lolilover

A lolilover is a stronger version of level 5 lolikers. They tend not to be embarrassed by their status and in fact tend to be rather proud to be a lolilover. They tend to proclaim about the cuteness of certain characters in anime that they watched, and generally these characters belong to the wide category of lolis. In fact, they generally have watched most anime that have any hints of lolis. However, they generally do not have a strong argument against others and tend to at least have some rationality when it comes to anime plots. Bad anime plots with good loli characters will not impress this group too much, even though some on the slightly high end of this group might stay on to watch if the situation improves.

Level 7 – Lolicon

The definitive loli person. The lolicon has watched literally 100% of anime that has any form of a loli in appearance. They are obsessive and unreserved in their liking of lolis. They tend to have entries in blogs or in chats with associations of lolis and the constant boardment of information pertaining to their orientation. They also do not usually care about the plot of the story, as long as there are lolis inside. Generally, they do not yet have that much of a sexual tendency or an explicit sexual tendency toward loli characters in the anime.

Level 8 – Lolifiend

Anyone belonging to this group deserves to be sent to hell immediately after they die. They collect figurines, enjoying upskirts and everything fetish pertaining to lolis. The author of this report refuses to comment anymore of this fiendish group of people, but there are some in the world that categorized them under a different name (one that is more honorable). They are called by their elitist codename of Loligod. However, they are often not considered criminal as their activities have not hit rock bottom.

Level 9 – Lolidemon

This group of people are generally too dangerous to talk to as every single topic that you can think of will lead to loli-ness. Most people would cringe at the thought of what they are thinking. If you ever met any of them, do pray and hope that you never know them in real life. They might be great suspects for the next event of loli-porn.

Level 10 – Lolitron

Sees anything as loli. In fact, even a cat works for them as loli. The thing is that they can find any quality, be it 30 years old characters or 80 years old characters and fantasize about them being lolis a long time ago. Engaged usually in real crime involving loli and highly dangerous. Any person that have encountered them are advised to move at least 50 feet away because their syndromes are extremely contagious. You will be affected just by their sheer aura of lolis. They often have tons of loli accessories and are like evangelists of loli acts to the world.

Level 11 – Lolihax

Cheaters of this paedometer. They are criminals in their own right and will kill simply by their aura. Whatever you can think about when it comes to lolis, they bring the level to a much higher degree, much more than what you can ever imagine. Be scared, very scared. These people are usually locked up once they are seen in public, for they are a global threat to sanity. The LAN (Loli Anti-Movement Nation) community has listed various criminals in this level and has presented a very high ransom for them. Do call the LAN hotline at 1800-SAVETHELOLIS if you have any information.

After reading this article, which level are you in? Comment and discuss why you are in it. =/

However, adjustions of the theory are still in progress and might be subject to change from experts of this field of pedology. Thanks.