Gundam 00 – 03: Gundam Jesus Solves All!

Well I know someone has leprosy…

So the first round of midterms just ended for me and I finally have a bit of a break until round 2. If nothing else there is so much to poke fun in this series I am sure every one can bring something new to the table. The power of Gundam Jesus is truly awesome. School children in anime Japan however are still as dull as bricks and still contribute the greatest numbers to the ranks of the Captain Obvious Coprs. In any case better late than never…

Graham has a rather tepid fight with Exia who constantly protests that he does not like being touched. Clearly this Setsuna was an altar boy and/or the uke during his meister training. Still with Graham spewing out a wealth of material for yaoi fan fiction it is only a matter of time before people every where can tell how young a man is by moving his Gundam. Nevertheless Graham likes them a bit too young for my sensibilities even if I support his right to follow his own sexual predispositions. Good to know his mating detection system is working perfectly as Setsuna’s fashion sense is totally outrageous.

For five cents a day you can save Saji from school. Children like him suffer every day at school learning about other peoples’ problems. Your contribution would allow him to go to the ATM and the next emo rocker concert.

While Graham was sent running with his pants down he did get some of that nifty anointed Gundam Jesus paint. As we can see once again communication through Mecha works in this time line as well.

All this hoopla about one man discovering everything about solar power seems suspicious to me. After all even the atomic bombs required the brain power of numerous big wigs in physics. It would not surprise me if this Aeolia Schenberg was a proponent of deutche physik in addition to funding every thing with Nazi gold.

Ms. Wang was telling some sleaze bag at the bar about her next operations. I doubt many of use were paying attention to the three strikes plan because let’s be honest here no body gives a hoot about what they plan on doing next. Especially since we all get confirmation that Ms. Wang is underage and not legal to boot. Ms. Wang fans rejoice for her youth is assured for years to come. Still I have to wonder how some one underage can get into a bar, I can only assume that it was a pedo venue. I must say her body guard suck. Whoever the guy is he needs to bow his head in shame for getting sneaked up on. Still I do not know who Ms. Wang was talking to, what was his purpose again? I guess for now I’ll just call him pedophile 1…

Orange soda- growing bust size in underage kids since the 1970s.

Tieria is being emo as ever hating to be on earth where Haruhi intended. Guess the flamboyantly pink shirt was intened to conceal his goth tendencies. I suppose he wants to mate Moonraker style at least once. Once he gets back he shows his disdain for older women and perhaps women in general by refusing to drink with Sumeragi.

Despite the over blown declaration about ending all war the big three are too busy trying to get as much data and parts as they can from the Gundams. I have to say while humans just don’t change it is no doubt wise to learn more about your enemy. Especially if your enemy is being awfully high minded in his declaration of war.

You guys suck so much he doesn’t even need to dual wield.

Nevertheless progress of sorts is being made. Though it is obvious that the Sunrise team never passed physics. In fact they assert that light is particle and not a wave as well. If this were true I want to see evidence of how they made such a discovery. As it stands there is a Nobel Prize to be had. Then again like any crappy religion belief in Gundam Jesus must also mean blind adherence to scripture and rabid defense of faith based science. We all know that happiness and sunshine power the Gundams and that beam sabers are powered by emo youth screams.

I can’t believe that their solutions to every world problem to be bombs and explosions. Really now cocaine production stopping just because you bomb the plantations? Obviously the Sunrise team has a mandate to solve the war on drugs. If the US ever listened to such great advice then our burning operations would have worked by now. I can’t wait for the Sunrise Party to get elected to the Japanese Diet that way I can attend to more important business than driving up the price of coke via interdiction. Also Sunrise sure does love incendiaries, because after burning down that plantation I have a nagging suspicion that that fire is going to result in a lot of destroyed rain forest as well.

Thus did Kyrios pronounce judgment upon the rain forest; wiping it out for all time. Many species and cures were sacrificed for the glory of Gundam Jesus .

As for blood diamonds the Sunrise solution is again excessive. Clearly they hold these guys in contempt since Dynames used a pistol to see them off while standing in one place the whole time. Never mind ending the De Beers monopoly and bringing the cost of diamonds crashing down. Clearly these construction bots are the ones behind it, in fact they are so dangerous that they are routinely spared.

Not content with beating up a bunch of peons last time Setsuna goes forth to Ceylon to beat up more peons while LTC. Sergei is declaring that he does not believe in things he cannot see. This must be true because his overly bulky and ugly suit is some how capable of flying, apparently Sergei and Sunrise don’t believe in gravity. I cannot help but admire how Sergei had man handled that sissy Setsuna. Hopefully once the big three lessen the technological gap they can put Setsuna in his place.

This is the most useless close combat weapon ever devised. It’s like breaking out a pocket knife in a gun fight.

In their final ep 3 blow Sunrise decided to inform us about the cessation of hostilities in Norther Ireland. After 400 years the heretics there have accepted Gundam Jesus as their personal savior. I can’t believe how far Sunrise is grasping on this one the Provisional IRA was most definitely a force to be reckoned with, but considering how both Ireland and the UK are in the EU most sane people realized that with such porous borders any continued conflict was pointless. Only nut cases in the Retarded Real IRA are still fighting for nothing as most of Ireland is smart enough to know that the EU makes national borders less of an issue given the closeness of member states.

Lastly and most certainly least the peanut gallery members Louise and Saji are having problems learning. Saji has no idea what his future is going to be. I can tell the sob of bitch right now that his fate is to be some broken down hack of an engineer that will have long been house broken by Louise. I don’t like this Saji because he has no love for history, which is incidentally one of the most beloved academic disciplines for grunts. I suspect that in the future that Saji will be ringing Setsuna’s bell for some sugar very often…Also news flash Saji the world changes everyday. In fact by your time the rain forest will have been long gone and you will have seen the end of oil. Now I know that this sorry wanker is an emo teen, but change happens every day. Every day a sucker is born, and every day humanity is finding new and innovative ways to kill each other. Really now, a boring world is a peaceful world.

Sumeragi might yet turn out to be that drunk salty captain I hope her to be. Still drtinking is only a small part of being an old seadog even if she is only 26 I want her cursing like a 59 year old. Remember captain even if you have overwhelming superiority through the pen of Sunrise never forget to hit them hard, hit them fast, and hit them often.

Mortal Combat! Finish him! Flawless Victory!