Thou art a sis-con.
It’s another episode of Gundam 00 again so time to break out the helm of sarcasm, the sword of truth, armor of contempt, and the aegis of logic. Be warned lovers of CB, fans of Sunrise this post is riddled with bias so consider yourselves for warned since there were a few of you who were immune to the concept of black humor, since it seems only to be the province of hard bitten cynics and mud blood soldiers, not glorious high minded idealist master race that make up the rank and file of rabid Sunrise supporters. Again I am very biased if the title for this post some how escaped you…As for the rest of you wonderful blokes with a sense of humor I confide in you that CB does indeed mean Communist Being because they want to bring communism to the whole world.
My kokoro Unlock!
Chara Change! Amulet Urusai!
Well it seems that Sunrise’s introduction of the Thrones has done much reduce the relevance of the Big Three. While there are those who would like to believe that the Trinity Siblings are going to inject some much needed oomph into the series, I still have my apprehensions given that this is going to be a trite cycle of Thrones pwn all, Gundams pwn all, and the rest of the world can just pick their noses in their utter irrelevance. Since Eifman is dead what little hope there was for the rest of the world to achieve parity has died with the old man. It also seems that it will be the AEU, HRL, and the Union who are going to drop like flies while the Meisters and Thrones lose nobody until the last few episodes. Its one thing to have stronger antagonists like the Thrones who I find tolerable and at times glorious, and quite another to in one stroke sideline all the major powers just for more Gundam on Gundam
mecha sechs action. It was a given that as the heir to Stellar, Nena was going to take a liking to one of the “goodie goodie” meisters, but the bitch is just as equally tasteless for choosing Setsuna as Stellar was for choosing Shinn.
It should have been you victory mein Leutnant, only by the accursed intervention of the Sunrise team was you glory stolen.
An excellent deduction mein Oberst. I hope you live to see the end.
Because they just figured out to push the shiny button labeled “ON.”
I don’t buy into the bullshit that the Thrones gained complete tactical and strategic surprise because the Big Three did after all spread out so many detectors that even a mouse could not have farted without them knowing. As for a communications jam to this day armies still run wired communications where ever possible with wireless only being used by units on the move. I rue the lack of artillery being called down to stall the Thrones since by all rights if any unit should have wired comms it’s the artillery. Also where were the forward observers for the artillery and the scout sniper observation teams? Since the Big Three need forward observers and scout snipers to throw down pinpoint barrages what the heck happened to them?! Alas it all fell apart within mere seconds because the Thrones are super and red particles are special enough to not only jam comms, but evade every single tracking method in the desert only! If only the Union air traffic control was as good in a desert as a base they would have been fine, too bad this plot hole occurred. Surprise my ass it was a Sunrise Over-powered Gundam Intervention!
How I lament the fall of the Mighty 8th! They were even using boom and zoom tactics and wedge formations, but still they can’t even make a dent. The that idiot Howard Mason suddenly turns Jap and Banzai charges, why?! Well at least with this more CB centric turn I can simply bash these commie bastards like the arrogant fuckers that they are.
You’re so ugly you could be a modern art master piece. Do you suck dicks? No?! Bull Shit! I bet you could suck a golf ball out of a garden hose.
That name sounds like royalty? Are you royalty? I don’t like the name Corner only idiots and wankers are called Corner. From now on you are Gomer Pile! Do you think your cute do you think your funny?!
Now on to using the sword of truth…
CB not only stands for you know what, but it also stands for Communist Being! It all makes sense now, Corner’s contempt for God, the Trinity Sputnik, RED particles, turning the East Red. Even their crap “illuminati” is really a politburo with Corner as head of the central committee. It is a model of inefficiency since they need to have unanimous decisions to get things done unlike more sane governments that only require 2/3s majority. No wonder it took the bastards 200 years to build seven working Gundams, the 200 year plan was based upon grand forecasts and the assumption that the world would give them a blow job for just showing up! They never wanted world peace they want world wide revolution and permanent revolution to build a degenerate workers’ state under the Supreme Soviet
Leonid Brezhnev Aeolia Schenberg. Speaking of Commies they need a headquarters for all the bureaucratic caste and a prison for the workers, I wonder where Sunrise plans to build the Party Headquarters…Ganymede? Europa? How about Callisto? Please don’t tell me Io…or any where close to the crushing gravity of Jupiter, still this is Comrade Propaganda Ministry of Great Soviet Being, Sunrise…
You little scumbag I have your name I have your ass! You will not laugh you will not cry! You had better unfuck yourself or I am going to twist off your cone and shit down your hemisphere!
Are you a beaner bumper? No?! Bullshit! I bet that you’re the kind of ass hole who fucks a person in the ass and doesn’t have the God damn common courtesy to give him a reach around.
The members of the Communist Party of the Communist Being (CPCB) congress are so ugly that each of them is modern art master piece. Like a typical Communist Congress they are merely tools because Comrade Pedo-Bear Corner has been trying to shallowly follow the wisdom of Stalin. It matters little who votes, but it is he who is counting that decides everything! It would hardly surprise me if the Thrones were basically built using the stolen purple haro data by Corner in his bid to become Jiang Qing and usurp CB to build his own degenerate worker’s state, I ruled Corner out as a Marx, Lenin, Trotsky, Stalin, Tito, Khruschev, or even a Mao since at least those guys could get things done and Mao was able to get laid more often too. Besides it is most fitting to call Sunrise’s Marty Stu a usurper like Jiang Qing. As such I look forward to seeing CB take one step forward and twenty back, undergo a Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution, and a Great Leap Forward. No doubt they will be making Gundams in backyard solar furnaces…
So why does Aeolia only wear boots while the meisters wear full body suits? Well in Aeolia’s time the world was only knee deep in shit, but after the meisters came we were swimming in it.
You’re so old…
Comrade Urusai Nena’s stealth field while a glorious spectacle was patently magical girl given how bright and colorful it was, but it does help to remind us that Nena as the only girl Gundam pilot is in desperate in need of a magical item to go with her magical familiar Haro and her magical change! Comrade Lunatic Michael is my new hero he’s not only totally broken but he’d be willing to tap Comrade Bitch Tieria’s ass if he were in fact a woman, who knows maybe Michael might get his wish… It also helps that Michael is a budding sis-con though he must really get rid of that stupid knife and bring a gun instead though kudos for drooling while Nena does a magical change. Well at least Comrade Lunatic Michael is a homo-homo-side character and sis-con in one broken body, since he’s not that great of pilot since like Setsuna relies too much on his Gundam rather than skills. The only reason why Mason died was because Mason was inflicted with “the Jap” charging in going banzai declaring the virtue of the Flag over Gundam. Mason you disappoint me, real Americans care not if anything is made in the USA or not, heck we are smart enough to realize the Rhienmetall makes one hell of a 120mm smooth bore gun for our M1A2s.
You mean LITTLE Seiei…
At least Comrade Jager Johann can keep his men in line unlike Comrade Goat Fucker Sumeragi who still takes orders from Comrade Bitch Tieria. At this point I hope Comrade Lunatic Michael violates Comrade Bitch Teiria’s rear before he dies like all bad guys. Speaking of guys who get hit from behind, Comrade Emo Setsuna is beyond the point of no return. While the average loli-con otaku would merely melt upon hearing the voice of Shana Comrade Emo Setsuna flees and hardly savors his free kissu or help himself to some melonpan. Saji must have the boy on the tight leash. While Comrade Urusai Nena is wasted on the fucker it’s so darling to see her piddle on her man to mark him as her property. Never the less the stupid politburo has once again mismanaged everything again and CB is again critically in short supply of Comrade Prostitute Ms. Wang time, that or Comrade Pedo-Bear Corner has whisked her off to his bed using the People’s money.
Yes, stop making impressions of Dear Leader Corner.
Yes, cease you anti Soviet propaganda at once. You should give her melonpan!
Also it is most disheartening to see that Lousie is only destined for a mere accident rather than ending up as red paste. Still while Comrade Goat Fucker Sumeragi is still an idiot and a tease, Comrade Coward Christina once again shows how utterly incompetent the bridge crew is. She moved from the Comrade Weepy Haptism to Comrade Jager Johann. While she does have better taste than Nena, at least Nena is a one man fruit woman. Comrade Coward Christina is not only a purple pissing coward but a tart was well.
I wish. Were it so easy…
Yeah how many times must you rub crap on the airwaves, Sunrise?
Well next time Sunrise is going to try and made a Louise wedding some how relevant to the ongoing war in some contrived way, like Comrade Lunatic Michael wanting to violate her or something. Well at least Leutnant Soma regards the Super Soldiers as her people I hope she can invoke the wrath of the real God to get those CB bastards to let her people go. Still no new signs of Leutnant Soma and Oberst Katie, how I miss them…