Good thing about bishoujos in an ecchi show: They can always have a loli past.
As Ma Chao realizes that she will be written off the script for a while, before they bring her back to the overall picture of sex, debauchery and utter lies of Koihime, she decided that it is time for another Ma Chao-centric episode, where they discuss about the murder of her father by Cao Cao.
Anyway, before I go on, let me just say that Koihime is hardly at the levels of the fanservice anime (what I call total piece of sexual fanservice crap) Kanokon, but it might just beat the shit out of it if it goes on this journey of sexual exploration of the same-gender. Honestly, why in the holy hell am I blogging this? This is Calawain’s territory out and out, but who cares. I want to talk about my ROTK, while spewing scorn over this series.
So, let’s go on with my partial rant cum (no, not trying to be funny) episodic summary of episode 4 – The Ma Chao vs Cao Cao episode.
Hey, you used too much strength last night! That’s why I am down here!
Ma Chao had a dream about her loli life when she remembers about a battle stance revealing the psyche of the warrior. When she woke up, she realized that Zhao Yun was sprawled on the floor due to her kicking in the bed. While Ma Chao apologized, Zhao Yun said she did something to her as revenge and said that the details were too lurid to be mentioned.
Oh my god. Ok. Let me try to re-affirm my thoughts. The director of this show probably felt that there was little sexual fanservice in the last two episodes during the start. I faithfully feel that the show has a quota on fanservice, and the technical executive was having a huge rage for the apparent lack of fleshy fanservice during the last two episodes. That’s why Zhao Yun had to be explictly lesbian and mention how “she did something to a virgin when she is dead asleep.” Marvelous, now let me clean my ear with antiseptic.
Hey, I didn’t ask you to try so hard when I am sleeping. You sex lesbian fiend!
I am? — Zhao Yun aka the lesbian character in a strictly homogender show.
Anyway, after that, they had some nonsensical talk about blah blah blah that I cannot care less because it has absolutely no relation to any visible plot of any kind. So yea, it is just trying to be cute for the sake of it. Guess what? It’s not cute for me.
Yes, I am so tsundere over this series. Sue me.
Are you thinking what I am thinking, Xun Yu?
I think I am, Cao Cao.
It’s ARMPIT LICKING TIME.
Reimu, anyone? Cao Cao returned back from a raid on the bandits and was victorious. Of course, they have no time to think of new strategies when Cao Cao is freaking raging with her hormones. As the advisers in the series are merely ornaments and an excuse to make lolis appear, Xun Yu is now a whore in the Wei brothel and using her tongue to lick Cao Cao dry. No, I am not trying to be kinky here, but Xun Yu is actually asked to lick the sweat off Cao Cao. That is so not trying to give blatant fanservice.
I am currently recoiling from complete shock and disgust over the degradation of perhaps one of the most scholarly and intelligent advisers in the Wei faction. Now, she is downgraded to merely one of the sexual harem toys of Cao Cao. Good job, fellows. With their writing of the story, due to Cao Cao’s admiration of Guan Yu, Guan Yu will have a sex-filled adventure when she eventually defects to Cao Cao (if they follow the history of Three Kingdoms Era). And for the love of ROTK, armpit licking? That’s pretty low, even for any ecchi show.
I want to join in too! Damn you, Xun Yu!
HAHA, you perverts who thought Xun Yu was doing something else… She’s just licking her toes… Oh wait, never mind.
Xiahou Dun came in and obviously did not like sharing Cao Cao to anyone, so she got just a tad jealous when she reported about the killing of the bandits. You know, I wonder if my eyepatch moe love for Chihiro will be destroyed by a future situation if they did follow the historical procedure. Those who know the ROTK will know what is coming very soon, but I will leave those who are not hanging because I will complain about it in due time.
Finally, it’s me again! Miss me? (Impz: Not really.)
The next day, Zhang Fei and Ma Chao decided to relax after carrying some goods as part of their job (they are strong and stupid after all). Ma Chao saw Cao Cao parading in the street, and in an outburst of sexuality and feminism, she decided that it is time for the reckoning.
I cannot tolerate someone stealing my limelight so easily, Cao Cao!
Let’s now try to describe the following summary part in the style of a romantic smut fanfic. Ma Chao declared that Cao Cao killed her father, and went on to attack the hot lithe body of Cao Cao with passion and desire. Xiahou Dun intervened, as she has to protect her master from the piercing pain of the spear. Zhang Fei, realizing that Ma Chao cannot assault and devour the beautiful and honorable Cao Cao, tried to stop her by holding her. Eventually, Ma Chao was captured by Cao Cao’s troops for *ahem* more punishment *ahem*.
I just realize that I am definitely out of a job if I try to be an erotic smut writer. Sigh.
This little brat tried to capture screen time against my Cao Cao. Teach her some freaking manners.
For those who do not know the history of Ma Teng, Ma Chao and Cao Cao, here is a tidbit of fact. Ma Teng and Han Sui were fighting with each other for territories, despite being cousins. Cao Cao, who at this point had decisively defeated Yuan Shao at the Battle of Guandu, brokered peace between Ma Teng and Han Sui, who then pledged allegiance to Cao Cao.
After this, Ma Teng was summoned to Ye with most of his family, where his military position was taken away. His eldest surviving son Ma Chao remained behind in Liangzhou with Han Sui. When Ma Chao and Han Sui defied Cao Cao and took up arms against him, Ma Teng, along with every member of his family that accompanied him, was executed. After that execution, Ma Chao continued to attempt an uprising against Cao Cao, but failed when Han Sui and him started to mistrust each other with Jia Xu’s plot.
Sigh, you will be sold because you are the weakest link. Never steal screentime unless allowed by the director, bitch.
The tribal council has chosen… You are next, Guan Yu.
Of course, Guan Yu cannot be voted out. She is in fact meeting up with Cao Cao to discuss the release of Ma Chao. Obviously, Cao Cao wanted to explain her Wei brothel, and a dark haired beauty will always have a nice place in her heart. Nonetheless, Cao Cao knew that it is quite hard to keep Guan Yu with her, and hence decided to have a night of passion. Yes, you want your Ma Chao, you better give me your virginity.
I feel so sorry, Guan Yu and Cao Cao, for even writing that. You must be trying so hard to bury yourself into the ground. That said, I am strangely excited for this. Am I turning into an ecchi loving fanboy? No, whoever dares to comment, “Join the Kanokon crowd” will turn into a trap. AN UGLY ONE. One that will have pock marks on their forehead and absolutely not moe. Die, punks.
I can finally see the dark hair under you…
My first time… will be tonight.
And I feel so fricking wrong saying that.
You are so smooth down there (and this is actual dialogue during this particular scene)
You are not allowed to have sex with Cao Cao. She’s mine!
Of course, as usual with any cockblocking show (as Hinano will attest to with her ZnT entries), an assassin appears just when Cao Cao is going to commence with hot yuri sex. I can almost hear the groans of fanboys all around the world who have not watched this scene. I assure you, I feel a complex feeling of relief and anticipation during the cockblocking.
I think Cao Cao is very hot. That’s why. Better if green-haired, but I don’t mind yellow.
I can understand why you gals want my attention so much. I just have such a hot nubile body.
I am so jealous of your hot lithe body, Cao Cao. You have dishonored me!
Cao Cao allowed freedom for Ma Chao, since Guan Yu saved her from the assassination. On the way to the caged Ma Chao, Xiahou Dun told Guan Yu the truth of Ma Teng’s death. Of course, this is Koihime and not a historical portrayal of ROTK. Hence, the story is twisted in which Ma Teng was not actually killed by Cao Cao, but he died during a drunk night where he fell off the horse. For a warrior of renown, dying due to falling off a horse is considered a huge dishonor and begged Cao Cao to hide the truth.
You know, this is actually a good change to the story that makes for some realism. In ancient times, it is in fact a dishonor to fall off a horse. As horses are important commodities (remember, there are no cars then), a general or warlord always uses a good horse for fighting and dueling. Without good horsemanship, a warrior is nothing. I am decently pleasant to hear of such a story, which makes Cao Cao a better guy gal than what the normal ROTK will portray him of.
Of course, I am great. I am Cao Cao the great, even in female form. (Impz: Yes, madam!)
My sword is mightier than your … wait what?
So, Guan Yu told Ma Chao but she could not accept it. She called Xiahou Dun a liar, and Xiahou Dun was insulted due to the pride of a warrior. They then had a duel. However, it was clear from the calm stance of Dun that she was not lying, and Ma Chao realized it was the truth that Cao Cao tried to protect the honor of her father.
I actually like how they made the Wei faction much cooler than the portrayal of the Wei faction in the ROTK. It might be because of my inherent bias and admiration for a warrior like Cao Cao and Cao Pi, but they just seem more fitting.
No, don’t kick me out of the script. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Bye bye, loser.
18 Comments
Wow an eroge turned into yandere lesbian ninja show! What a concept!
I was looking through your screenshots and it was screaming Strawberry Panic, all actual content aside.
While this show is not as explicit as Kanokon, I can’t help but think (from reading your summary) that it’s an anime version of watching Skinemax.
It seems like they did a straight adaption from the eroge game/visual novel and just removed the actual sex scenes but kept everything else. LOL
I don’t understand why they just didn’t adapt this as a straight yuri-hentai @_@
Oh my god, you can actually see where Cao Cao is touching Guan yu. The blanket… IT DOES NOTHINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.
Also its sad to think that given Cao Cao’s sexual prefrences Cao Pi will not be born
heres hoping for some Zhang Liao X Guan Yu love or even better just some Zhang liao XD.
Not a Romance of Three Kingdoms fan, but as given the fact World History was one of my favorite subjects back in college, I did some reading on it anyway, and I think I need to ask… Given the fact that (from my understanding) Three Kingdoms is a MULTI-GENERATIONAL story, uh, how can one have descendants if ALL of the major players have been turned into… Girls? I mean, don’t some of them have GRANDCHILDREN by the end of it?
I’m first to admit to have been enthralled by Seitenkan, but this… I can’t wrap my mind around this, sorry.
@Hinano: It’s not a ninja show, but well the first two descriptions are pretty darn accurate. It’s really depressing when I see the complete degradation of my favorite historical characters turned into hot chicks. Some might consider it to be a huge turn on. I consider it to be a transversity of justice.
@Lelangir: Except Strawberry panic is way milder and this one can be borderline porn without the naked nipples and everything related to hentai.
@Halcyon: I have no clue what Skinemax is about, and I am pretty damn sure that I do not want to watch this at all. I am also pretty darn sure that they did just that, and just removed the actual sex scenes from the game.
Nonetheless, I think that they will probably have a DVD version where it will be straight out yuri hentai by any standards. I cannot imagine how disturbing that will be. That said, when it gets way too much for me to tolerate, I will just drop this immediately.
@Ex: I really do not think that the blanket is meant to cover it. It’s just to make sure that every person who is watching this darn anime knows what the hell is going on to make the raging hormones happy. I am so sad that it is definitely going down the slippery road of explicit sexual fanservice.
I think with the way Zhang Liao is wearing, there is likely some huge fanservice love between her and Guan Yu. They do have some good scenes in the historical novel, so I expect some interaction her as well. Cao Pi would probably not be covered since they have no time…and no budget.
@Myssa: They supposedly have grand children but it is not going to be covered in this anime, since it will be hard to keep thinking about different fetishes. Since this is a lesbian anime, it is unlikely to make a nice story plot for guys to enter the picture for re-production, unless women can plant their ….never mind.
Who is Seitenkan? Xiahou Dun? @_@ I don’t get the japanese names, and i refuse to use the japanese version of the name.
I think the problem with the anime is that it will probably have a really lame ending since it seems quite impossible for them to have a coherent story other than collecting a harem. They will have some random haphazard ending, and everyone will eventually go like “oh, nice borderline porn.” and forget about it ever.
Yeah whats Seitenkan? Obviously its not Xiahou Dun, i did a google search on the word and sites about Suzumiya Haruki pops up, related?
I’m still hoping for a Hakuoro to appear out of no where and claim the chicks for his own, what a beautiful ending that would be, alas i don’t think it will be likely.
Impz: I take it then you’re not prepared for the REMAKE of Koihime Musou (the game) complete with a FEMALE and green-haired Liu Bei? Oh my goodness…
I kid about green-haired Liu Bei of course, but the remake WILL feature a female Liu Bei, so when you think of it… I’d say Koihime Musou just jumped off the deep end into very VERY real yuri territory (unlike the original eroge).
And Seitenkan is… Well, Gendeflip/Genderswapping (not Genderbending as exemplified by Impz), and is commonly associated these days with Suzumiya Haruhi (ever heard of Kyon-ko? You should), though the phenomenon is not isolated to that franchise and is kind of part of anime fandom as a whole.
Which is EXACTLY what we have here, minus women-turned men… Which I understand Diao Chan WILL be, in all the Norio Wakamoto-voiced awesomeness (yes, he did the voiceover in the game too).
Armpit licking? Can this show get any better?
@Ex: Considering how Cao Cao and Zhao Yun will probably slaughter any guy that will get close to the dark hair heroine Guan Yu, I think that the chance of any guy planting seeds into our ladies is probably 0. Moreover, I just have the feeling that the ending will come with some ridiculous stupid conclusion when all the girls decide to start a brothel to delight other women or some shit.
@Myssa Rei: Seitenkan generally annoys me because I feel that it is really a cheap way of trying to sell fanservice in general. No matter how much Liu Bei looks hot, I don’t care. Plus, I like the Wei faction more anyway.
They would? I would think that Liu Bei will be male and they will be making babies for him. Or something.
Liu Bei WAS the male in the original (game) iteration, but with Shin Koihime Musou, the testosterone factor was removed completely. I wish I was kidding about it too…
And no paroxyms of terror at the inevitable arrival of NORIO WAKAMOTO… I mean, Diao Chan yet, Impz?
All Hail BRITANNIA!
That being said,
@Impz: There is always hope impz, when a person has nothing left but despair, can can always be hope. As far as we know, Liu Bei really does exist in that world and still retains his Y chromosome and once he finally gets some screen time, he’ll come and claim his 5 tiger Generals, then the anime can end and i’d be plenty a satisfied… If only…
Ex: Unfortunately, the Koihime Musou adaptation *explicitly* deletes the male Liu Bei from the equation (unlike the game of course)… Which is why I find the fact that, in the remake SHIN KOIHIME MUSOU Liu Bei is going to be turned into a full-fledged girl amusing.
HOLLY FUCK show just turned into pure awesome. Even Impz like it now.
@Myssa Rei: …The most beautiful lady and temptress in the Era, Diao Chan will definitely appear with a total blast, blazing everyone with her absolute beauty. She will glorify us with her overwhelming physical presence and makes sure that everyone will fall in love with her. Let me go kill myself now.
@Ex: …seems like Rei might be right. That means that we gonna see more yuri for the sake of the fanboys who cannot wait for the girls to screw each other in their fights. Find the number of ways that you can see the previous statement.
I think that the whole fact of putting only Liu Bei as a male will be a cop out of sorts for this anime actually. I mean, they have been trying so hard to do a hard yuri on everyone. Now, if they suddenly just throw it a male conveniently, it will betray their senses. Don’t ask me what I just said. I don’t know.
@LDC: You do know that I have an inherent hatred for anything fanservice. Funnily, I am somewhat enjoying this with a rather sadistic streak. I do not know why too, but I guess it’s pretty different from the usual series that I catch.
Koihime Musou continues to leave me in despair. I guess I’ll continue to watch until Lu Bu shows up, be disappointedat it, and finally drop this horrid show.
In a fit of insanity or some such, I’ve grabbed the Koihime game to see what this story idea originally was like. It’s immediately apparent that there will be no Liu Bei in the anime – in the game, the male protagonist (name: Ittou) filling his shoes is from our time and world. Plot Device happened and he was tossed into the Koihime world with all his knowledge of how RoTK ought to be. Guan Yu and Zhang Fei (already vowed sisters at the start) were on a quest to find the “Chosen of Heaven” or some such (I’m playing a visual novel untranslated with next to no Kanji skill…) and deem Ittou as their objective, believing him to be some messiah to bring the land out of its troubles (Yellow Scarves and all the conditions at the start of RoTK).
Incidentally, the anime also somewhat changes the characterisation of these bastard-derived girls. Maybe it’s because I’ve only played a tiny sliver of the whole thing, but Guan Yu is (or at least starts as) a girl who has completely thrown away her identity as a woman. She has no concept of shame or embarrassment when Ittou walks in on her naked and is bewildered why he’s babbling apologies. Which is quite different from the anime’s version where she’s very easy to ‘molest’ with words alone (though they don’t stop there).
Not that any of this defends the concept of “let’s turn the Legendary Heroes of RoTK into Moefied girls”…
Wohooo epic late comment!
I was ok with fanservice level until episode two, but episode three and four crossed the line. It’s now just blatant and low (seriously…armpit licking?). But I can see where your masochistic drive comes from, since that’s why I’m watching this show as well. Anyway, not enough history lesson on RoTK characters, expecting more on future blog posts.
Offtopic: I recently finished a cool tactics game called “Legend of Cao Cao”. It’s pretty much Fire Emblem with a storyline that’s faithful to RoTK, from Cao Cao’s point of view, not Liu Bei’s. It’s also hilarious because if you choose “hero” path and not “villain” path, Zhuge Liang becomes villain instead and you (Cao Cao as a hero) have to defeat Zhuge Liang and his evil minions to bring peace to the three kingdoms. Yea…bizarre…
Highly recommended to people who likes tactical games like Fire Emblem or mad about RoTK.