Zhuge Liang is a loli. Woo Woo Woo~
Do I sound like I am extremely happy with the appearance of Zhuge Liang? If you think I am due to the caption of the first image, you are bloody right. I completely adore this show due to this episode because it has made the side of me where I have this sickened and twisted dislike of the Shu faction extremely happy.
Yes, I am happy. Care to find out why?
P/s: I do not want to make a new entry for this, but I will be missing after the 16th of August for two weeks. There will not be any entries, as I am going off for a forced vacation without Internet. I also apologize for my late replies recently on comments, due to my extremely crazy 10 hour work days for the past two weeks. Case in point: I went to work at 7 am, and only reached home at a whooping 10 pm. Work can kill any interest.
Why are the producers replacing me with ANOTHER DFC? Aren’t they bored with the lack of boobs?
So, Zhao Yun separated from the other two in the party, as she was thinking too much about food (bamboo shoot, a rather delightful delicacy in ancient China). Honestly, I really think it is for the good of Zhao Yun to get rid of these two goons (Guan Yu and Zhang Fei) who are technically unable to do anything but fight when they realize that it’s not some animal or beast that will rape them mentally.
YOU. TOOK. MY. FOOD. (A very carnal sin indeed).
I honestly did not know why they manage to make everyone other than Lu Bu, Cao Cao and Xiahou Dun retarded. I mean, as much as Zhang Fei fulfills her stereotype in the ROTK story, Guan Yu is really just an airhead. Yes, bite me. I have a
CARNAL and well-hidden dislikebit of skepticism for the portrayal of the Shu faction compared to the other two in the ROTK novel.
AND. YOU. DID. IT. ON. MY. PERIOD. (I promise never to do this anymore. It’s just so addictive to add periods for fun).
Zhang Fei, Oh no! The most useful member of our party has disappeared!
So, as Zhao Yun is unable to think beyond the fact that her bamboo shoots were stolen by her cute and ridiculously gluttonous partners. After entering a misty forest, they were separated, which is so stereotypical but nothing in this show surprises me any more. Or so, I thought.
It’s ok, Guan Yu. More screen time for us is always good for US!
In the mist, it became hard to see anything and our clumsy Guan Yu found herself spraining her ankle. Obviously, this is not war time because she will be left behind because she is just encumbrance. There is no way to dissuade me that Guan Yu in this series is nothing more than encumbrance. The mist subsided after a while, and Zhang Fei found a house close.
My incarnate is the Seven-tailed fox. In fact, I can conjure the wind.
Guess who they met? Due to the fact that there is likely to have no Liu Bei in this series, we have Guan Yu/Zhang Fei visiting Zhuge Liang thrice in order to persuade him to join. However, before you go on any further, you forgot that this is Koihime that is always ready to piss on you when you think anything more serious than the words, “LOLI power!”
You know, Zhang Fei, I wish I can have a daughter like you. Zhuge Liang is way too boring.
It turns out that our dear loli Zhuge Liang has a case of over-reacting over little things. When a freaking sprain can be a critical condition, then my ability to suspend any cosmic reality is completely undermined. I am also very happy to see Zhuge Liang being a complete overly silly loli, because I think that Zhuge Liang has been given way too much credit in the novel for the Chi Bi battle. For people who are not in the know, The Battle of Chi Bi is one of the most classic battles of all time, a major battle where the Wei faction was greatly damaged by a great counterattack on the sea.
In history, Zhou Yu was the one who masterminded all the strategies and strokes in the great success. However, in ROTK, they seemed to feel that it is better to make the Shu faction look as great as they can be, so they decided to make Zhou Yu fodder for Zhuge Liang. To say that I have been rather slighted by the snub of the novel is a great understatement.
I mean, look at her. She’s cute and she’s hardworking. It’s too common a stereotypical type.
I am really weak. Zhuge Liang, I need to take a dump now!
Once again, it is proven that anime characters that are hardworking and cute lolis usually over-react by making sure that Guan Yu is treated as a terminal creature of sorts. You know that scenario. It is the tear-jerking drama scene where the about-to-die side character that everyone predicted will die eventually finally dies after having his last breath. S/He whimpers around some last wish, and the main character goes GAR over it.
Anyway, speaking nonsense that has nothing to do with this series is my forte. So, what happened is that Sima Hui and Zhuge Liang decided to make Guan Yu look like she broke her leg and did not allow her to move around. Why am I thinking of a rob and rape plot suddenly?
I am sorry. It’s too small, right? (AND it is in the actual speech. Freaking awesome!)
What? We don’t have a basin that is big enough for her butt? That’s impossible!
Anyway, we need to throw in a plot, so the swelling didn’t disappear and Sima Hui instructed Zhuge Liang to find this very rare herb that grows only in a certain place. Please do not mind me, as I start to think about normal Japanese RPGs who asked beginning players to carry out fetch quests like a dog. Zhuge Liang is now relegated to being a fetch-dog.
If that is not awesome, nothing is. Next thing, I want to see Zhuge Liang being a dojikko (clumsy person that is considered to be moe).
Mission accomplished, Master Impz!
Hurray for me! Now, everyone, start going on your moe delight over Zhuge Liang. Yes, Dojikko is so freaking moe and it’s freaking awesome that our beloved supposed smart adviser of the Shu faction is now one of them. Throw in the love for a dojikko please! More compliments of THIS Zhuge Liang means more delight for me, as it completely sounds like an insult to human beings and particularly Zhuge Liang. Dojikko moe is like worshipping retardness: you cannot go lower. Well, technically you can, but you have to like starfish then. Starfish, for your information, has a slimy feel and has poison in its tentacles. Have fun being retarded and in love with such a disgusting creature!
You know, I am getting tired of all this crap. I am a loli, Zhuge Liang is a dojikko and Zhao Yun is a lesbian. What in the holy hell is going on with this Koihime? Oh, and Huang Zhong is now a MILF with breasts that are way too big to be contained by clothes.
So, it turns out that after some trials and tribulations that are hardly epic level by any standards, Zhuge Liang finally got to the herb and tried to climb a cliff despite being afraid of heights. Standard protocol goes as follows. Fear of height, tries to climb, and has a successful chance of 100% to fall down from the cliff.
Zhuge Liangs keep Fallin’ down the Cliff~
I am a crybaby. HEAR ME ROAR!
Yes, cry more. Your misery is my enjoyment.
Yes, despite carrying your small lame body, I have stolen the attention, Zhuge Liang! I am the better loli!
Due to hax plot, Zhuge Liang is not allowed to have a premature death. That is particularly distressing for me, but yet a relief because it means that I have even more chances to make fun of Zhuge Liang. If you notice, I have not mentioned the history of Zhuge Liang, since this episode has absolutely nothing to do with the history of ROTK or the historical facts.
HERB, GET. I am the awesome loli in this series. Do not forget that, Zhuge Liang!
It’s strange how I swing from hating Zhang Fei the loli for being a really annoying brat to supporting her compared to the supposedly cute, hardworking Dojikko Zhuge Liang. However, think of it as the support of the lesser evil. Compared to Zhang Fei who is merely annoying, Zhuge Liang makes me want to stab her in the guts from the front and back, repeat and rinse for 1000 times, and then run away from moe-loving fanboys who cannot wait to give me the same treatment.
Remember, woman, I am the true red and only good loli in this series. Resign to being second and boring!
Auntie Sima Hui, why do you forsake me? I tried so hard to retrieve this herb for you, my great aunt!
You are just too stereotypically boring, Zhuge Liang.
As expected, Sima Hui asked Guan Yu to bring Zhuge Liang on their journey together, since she has requested to see the world. Sima Hui then blah blah about her experiences during her journey, and that she wished for Zhuge Liang to experience the same things too.
I have finally taken a slot in this series!
And I have taken another step to making fun of you more, loli Zhuge.