Never try to be popular. You just can’t be popular.
According to Panther, it seemed like some of the other Singaporean bloggers have received an invitation to Dannychoo’s Animax Blogging Workshop that I sent my entry to. Obviously, it turned out many other Singaporean bloggers has received their secret email invitations too. This is obviously an insult to my pride as a Singaporean anime blogger in the blogosphere since I consider myself to be decently loved by others. Being the egoistical great blogger that I am, I cannot fathom how everyone and their armpits gets an invite, and I am the only odd one out of this mass orgy.
Going back to my thinking cell, I started to wonder why I am not invited into this exclusive club where all the hip boys are hanging out. Is there something that I am lacking which resulted in my non-direct involvement into the cool group of kids that gets an automatic invite? Below are my speculations to why I am not in this club.
1. Impz is uncool compared to other Singaporean bloggers
When the Wintrain of otaku comes, sit on it.
I believe this is one of the most critical points that has caused me to lose ground against other Singaporean anime bloggers. First off, I should give a tip of the hat to Panther because he gets the invite and boastfully mentions how awesome and proud he is at receiving that exclusive invitation. I mean, he is part of an elite group of anime fans with money to waste on things that are totally useless. Which proud anime blogger will not do that? That is the mark of coolness if you ask me, and that is why he gets an invite despite being a total tsundere about receiving one from Danny Choo.
In fact, I bet he is smirking right now at my inability to even snag a RSVP and he is waving the e-peen ticket at me now. This is why cool boys in the club enjoy their figurines and some of them might secretly demand Tsuruya to be their 2D wife. I don’t have that coolness in me to like the two dimensional world too much. Is that why? IS THAT WHY I DIDN’T GET THE INVITE? Is it because I actually have a real life girlfriend of more than two years? I am sorry for loving the three dimensional. From today, I am suspending my campaign of being a prude, and openly accept the otaku way of life.
Of course, if we are talking about Impz being uncool enough to get the invite, we have to mention the coolest Singaporean anime blogger on the Internet. Darkmirage the biggest anime blogger in Singapore obviously got an invite to Dannychoo’s workshop (I bet he did) since he is the only one who did not have to pay in order to talk to May’N. I mean, no one except for Darkmirage can give such an awesome interview that any spammer can fill in. Moreover, he knows Japanese and watches his anime via raw. Since I am not as awesome as him in the Japanese language, it seemed logical that I am not considered to be cool enough by those people in Animax. Also, a call out to Bj0rn who everyone knows despite not even blogging about anime anymore. I bet he also gets an invite, which makes me very unpopular indeed.
I mean, even TJ the lame troll who tried to make a totally ineffective blog dorama on UFOtable probably got an invite from the Animax community. I guess it is because he gets to be featured in a JAPANESE newspaper, while I only manage to land a front page in the national newspaper proclaiming about my weak and feeble love for anime. Note: You got to be in a freaking Japan newspaper to be anywhere popular.
However, it is just a low blow to be more uncool than a blogger that I have never heard of in my entire blogging community career. So, I am worse than that, huh? Thanks for the reality check.
2. Anoy finds Impz anonymous.
Even Drm trolls me. I must be freaking uncool.
In addition, it is equally painful that many anonymous commentators have told me about how unpopular I am lately.
Anoy A: You know, I know all about Yukan, TJ and Darkmirage. Who’s that faggot Impz anyway? He blogs about the indissoluble peregrination for the procurement of ratiocination right?
Anoy B: Even that major otaku awards fail to include THAT Anime Blog in the list. Who does that Impz think he is?
Anoy C: Impz is old school. He blogs on anime after all. Which anime blogger REALLY blogs on anime anyway?
Anoy D: I think you interpret too much into that email.They probably just went ahead and emailed pretty much any SG Blogger.They probably found you via TeamBlue?
I get it. You guys just hate me because I am not cool enough.
3. Impz doesn’t blog on the cool things
I bet one of the key factors for my non-inclusion is the fact that I am blogging actual anime series such as Kuroshitsuji, Ga-rei Zero and Skip beat. Real anime bloggers just talk about their wish list in Amazon, complaining about Haruhi anime merchandise or being alive. I am a fake anime blogger trying to pose as one. I am sorry. It is only now that I realize that writing an anime blog means you are supposed to do anything but that. I am sorry to be so arrogant.
4. I am not otaku enough
According to Panther, one likely reason for his invitation was his trip to the Toy and Comics Convention. So, it’s my fault to hate any intensive otaku activities? I didn’t know that you have to dress up as a stormtrooper just like a fanboy of Danny Choo to be eligible as part of the fanclub group. I am not awesome enough to wear a stormtrooper cosplay in the middle of the street. That just sounds so ridiculously cool that I am unable to fathom myself in that form of dressing. I should have thicker skin to worship Danny Choo and be eager to see him in the flesh. I should never have joined the Workshop simply because I thought it is fun to socialize despite thinking that most of the advice is pretty useless to a FAKE anime blogger.
5. I am not like Danny Choo
Last of all, I am just not Danny Choo. Honestly, since Danny Choo is the super anime blogger, it is apparent that I do not blog on REAL anime stuff to be considered an anime blogger. I blog about fake crap that is undeniably non-anime stuff. In fact, he even has his own anime mascot. In response to that, Impz will set up a post later to have a mascot too for THAT. Stay tuned for that in a bid to make myself cooler as an anime blogger.
According to Animax, Danny Choo is clearly the epitome of anime bloggers.
Judging ‘The Animax Super Anime Blog’ contest is none other than Danny Choo, who will personally be in Singapore ahead of the contest to offer blogging tips to our viewers at an exclusive anime blog workshop proudly hosted by Animax!
According to my meager knowledge of Danny Choo, he writes on Japanese culture and figurines. Those stuff are real Japanese anime entries, not my junk. He also tries to make people like me feel good by blogging on fake anime stuff once in a while. In fact, he is the best placed to advise the general anime blogger compared to anyone else. Shin, a totally confused uncool soul, clearly does not know what he is talking about.
In a wise man’s words, you just did not make the cut. Sorry, you are voted off Impz.
p/s: If you actually took this post seriously, you fail. Owned. In other words, this is a joke post. DUN DUN DUN~
P/ss: Danny’s voice on the phone is very manly. I feel like a girl now.