Gundam 00 S2 – 18: 10 Years After Would Have Been Better

I hope they are having fun on their vacation.

On the occasion corresponding to this four years ago, all thoughts were anxiously directed to an impending War. All dreaded it—all sought to avert it. While the inaugural address was being delivered from this place, devoted altogether to saving the Federation without war, insurgent agents were in the city seeking to destroy it without war—seeking to dissolve the Federation, and divide effects, by negotiation. Both parties deprecated war; but one of them would make war rather than let the Federation survive; and the other would accept war rather than let it perish. And the war came.

One eighth of the whole population were Israelis, not distributed generally over the world, but localized in the Kataron part of it. These slaves constituted a peculiar and powerful interest. All knew that this interest was, somehow, the cause of the war. To strengthen, perpetuate, and extend this interest was the object for which the insurgents would rend the Federation, even by war; while the government claimed no right to do more than to restrict the territorial enlargement of it. Neither party expected for the war, the magnitude, or the duration, which it has already attained. Neither anticipated that the cause of the conflict might cease with, or even before, the conflict itself should cease. Each looked for an easier triumph, and a result less fundamental and astounding. Both plagiarize the same Old Testament, and pray to the same God; and each invokes His aid against the other. It may seem strange that any men should dare to ask a just God’s assistance in wringing their bread from the sweat of other men’s faces; but let us judge not that we be not judged. The prayers of both could not be answered; that of neither has been answered fully. The Almighty has his own purposes. “Woe unto the world because of offences, for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!” If we shall suppose that Kataron Slavery is one of those offences which, in the providence of God, must needs come, but which, having continued through His appointed time, He now wills to remove, and that He gives to both Federation and Kataron, this terrible war, as the woe due to those by whom the offence came, shall we discern therein any departure from those divine attributes which the believers in a Living God always ascribe to Him? Fondly do we hope—fervently do we pray—that this mighty scourge of war may speedily pass away. Yet, if God wills that it continue, until all the wealth piled by the Israeli’s two hundred and fifty years of unrequited toil shall be sunk, and until every drop of blood drawn with the lash, shall be paid by another drawn with the sword, as was said three thousand years ago, so still it must be said “the judgments of the Lord, are true and righteous altogether.”

With malice toward none; with charity for all; with firmness in the right, as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in; to bind up the world’s wounds; to care for him who shall have borne the battle, and for his widow, and his orphan—to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace, among ourselves, and with all nations. – Federation President 00bama

Kataron entered this war under the rather childish delusion that they were going to bomb everyone else, and nobody was going to bomb them. At Rotterdam, London, Warsaw, and half a hundred other places, they put their rather naive theory into operation. They sowed the wind, and now they are going to reap the whirlwind. We are going to scourge Klaus’ Reich from end to end. We are bombing Kataron city by city, hideout by hideout and ever more terribly in order to make it impossible for them to go on with the war. That is our object, and we shall pursue it relentlessly. For the record I do not personally regard the whole of the remaining population of Kataron as worth the bones of one Feddie Grenadier. – Brigadier General Goodman

(Note: Here’s a small bit until a more precise sub becomes available, in the mean time feel free to contemplate how you plan on stealing Anew from Lyle)

Adding stuff in now…

You know it’s coming…

First though Patrick sent me a poem while he was hiding out with Katie.

There were thirty million Azadistani who talked of Kataron’s might,
There were twenty broken terrorists who lacked a bomb for the night.
They had both food and money, but they had neither service nor trade;
They were only shiftless terrorists, the last of Shirin’s Brigade.

They felt that life was fleeting; they knew not that art was long,
That though they weren’t dying of famine, they lived in deathless song.
They asked for a little million to keep the Automaton from the door;
And the thirty million Azadistani sent twenty pounds and four!

They laid their heads together that were scarred and lined and grey;
Keen were the Feddie sabres, but want was keener than they;
And an old Shirin muttered, “Let us go to the Princess who writes
The things on Jihad-kun the kiddies at her school recites.”

They went with bands or colours, a blob ten-men strong,
To look for the Master-singer who had crowned them all in her song;
And, waiting her servant’s order, by the garden gate they stayed,
An obese little cluster, the last of Shirin’s Brigade.

They strove to stand to attention, to straighten the couch-bowed back;
They drilled on a bloated stomach, the loose-knit files fell slack;
With stooping of weary shoulders, in pants tattered and frayed,
They shambled into her presence, the last of the Shirin’s Brigade.

The old Klaus was spokesman, and “Beggin’ your pardon,” he said,
“You wrote o’ Shirin’s Brigade, ma’am. Here’s all that isn’t dead.
An’ it’s all come true what you wrote, ma’am, regardin’ the mouth of hell;
For we’re all of us nigh to the workhouse, an’ we thought we’d call an’ tell.

“Yes, thank you, we want food, ma’am; but couldn’t you take an’ write
A sort of ‘to be continued’ and ’see next page’ o’ the fight?
We think that someone has blundered, an’ couldn’t you tell ‘em how?
You wrote we were ‘heroes’ once, ma’am. Please, write we are ‘starving’ now.”

The plump little army departed, limping and fat and forlorn.
And the heart of the Master-singer grew hot with “the scorn of scorn.”
And she wrote for them wonderful verses that swept the destitute land like flame,
Till the fatted souls of the Azadistani were scourged with the thing called Shame.

O thirty million Azadistani that babble of Kataron’s might,
Behold there are twenty terrorists who lack their bombs to-night;
Their children’s children are lisping to “honor the bombing they made – ”
And we leave to the streets and the workhouse the charge of Shirin’s Brigade!- Patrick “the Immortal” Colasour, Federation Satirist

Leaderbroad wise Team Gundam 00 Raiser gets bumped back down for failing to kill off Goodman who was so awesome he teleported out of the way…if only they got him and forced 00bama to create MECHA Goodman.

Sorry jihad-kun but you failed to kill off Goodman, or at least turn him into MECHA Goodman.

Unless this happens Soma is dead to me.

All that VF this Ain’t…

After fast forwarding 4 months into the future Kati and Patrick have run off as Homer who is sick of having to deal only with KFC desperately searches for them in order to have at least one competent commander. 00bama has merged the Feddie Army with the A-Laws to save on uniform costs and gray-blue paint. Sadly 00bama’s effort to one up Kawamori’s All that VF air show was a failure because there were no custom Aheads or Bushido Bob in Aoii. Feddie ion cannon production reaches a fevered pitch but it seems that despite the hubbub of having to kill one that the terrorists of CB have finally harnessed the power of Saji’s reach around to bring about great destruction in a fit of emo and lose. While 00bama gets his stimulus package passed Republicans such as Shirin would rather have no economy at all if they cannot get their tax cuts. Shirin is scared shitless as a black man has been re-elected in a landslide victory over the old Caucasian Klaus. Shirn was quoted to have said, “Damn that nigger spick Jew.” Nevertheless 00bama reached out with his automaton peace keepers in an effort to get Kataron to unclench their fists. Since Mizushima has realized what a terrible mistake it was to Marie off Soma, Marie found that her one true love was Wild Bear though with his death she can no longer play hard to get. Angry that Andrei is no Wild Bear and hot for Louise Marie decides that she wants to kill him in a fit of jealousy. Haptism being the loser harem animu male that he is can only watch with emo stare praying for the return of docile kitchen gofer Marie. Thankfully if God wanted the dumb bitch back he would have Maried it by now. As it stands Marie pretends to be Soma, but she is fated to not kill Andrie because Sunrise has to preach about forgiveness towards the end. The transformation is incomplete as this Soma while having the “fuck you losers” attitude I have come to expect, she has none of her lust for Louise. Haptism starts bawwing because his Marie won’t give him any and Somarie refuses his loser harem animu ways.

YES WE CAN.

Goodman: No, but Patrick went with her…

Homer: Fifty Bucks says she won’t tie the knot with the guy.

Goodman: Dude stop picking on Patrick, poor guy tries so hard. Besides, I got Seventy-five riding on Revival.

In Great Nation of Azadistan woman stay in Kitchen.

Four months on Anew and Lyle are sleeping together but because Sunrise all of a sudden decided to cut the fan service that we did not get to see Anew’s Hopes and Dreams (Damn your censorship Sunrise I wanted to see Anew shirtless not that loser Jihad-kun! Fuck your manservice!). It was decried by the 00bama administration as complete and utter bullshit as Anew could never credibly fall for that loser Lyle. Feldt was sitting on her ass and taking it like a bitch as Lyle spilled the beans to the whole ship. Sumeragi despite being the reputed genius cannot figure out how the A-Laws are tracking them so well. Instead of sweeping the ship for tracking devices or interrogating Saji and Somarie Sumeragi starts dreaming of Billy instead. Revival misses Katie dearly and in an effort to usurp Patrick’s place as the master of love decides to give Andrei some advice on love. Andrei being a shit character that Sunrise doesn’t know what to do with vacillates between love of his mum and his lust for Louise. Seems Andrei only wanted an Ahead, and all he had to do for it was kill Wild Bear who stupidly removed the Pink Plot ERA for Taozi. While Andrie is being a dick, Louise learns the horrible truth about Andrei, but is now willing to kill Saji for his acts of terrorism and lose. Klaus and Kataron think that they can catch a break but 00bama will hunt them down and all who harbor them for regime change that we can believe in. Should the Feddies use automatons to hunt down terrorist scum? YES WE CAN.

I think we’re safe.

No one expects the Spanish Inquisition. Our one weapon is surprise, fear and surprise. Our two weapons are fear and surprise, and ruthless efficiency. Our three weapons are…

You Gonna get Raped.

Marina and her kids stuff their faces as the fat Seelian kid starts begging for pie. Big fat Seelian kid was also fighting with another boy so I guess that all Seelians want to be big shots and boss everyone else around. 00bama got sick of their song and sent a Feddie Kill Team to deal with the Ranka wannabe Marina and that Jihad-kun poser kid after triangulating their position through their radio broadcast after the locals complained that the song was interfering with the air waves. Sadly they only manage to Kill Kenny before Sunrise pussied out and did not let us see the Feddies give Marina a new asshole. Renge and Ribbons go at it over Wang and Veda, though at this point Ribbon’s is quickly losing his just as planned mystique as he did not take advantage of Wang’s desire for immortality. It seems Wang wants to see the world burn so that she could turn back time since the time skips that have made her old, boring, and ugly. Still Hong Long would still hit it for some WINcest. Nena seeing as how being a loli in Toradora is more fun skips out on this episode.

The Audacity of Hope is so terrifying…you racist bitch.

But Rush Limbaugh loves this song….

Well, everything. Soma, if that is your real name, you must kill Saji and claim Louise…otherwise your are still Marie.

Impression:

Well it seems that Sunrise has discovered the wonders of a time skip and can now spare us the awkward duty of having to explain how the hell that loser Lyle bagged Anew and how Andrei finally got Louise to talk to his momma’s boy ass. This series has become 100% bullshit first off it is utter bullshit for Anew to be going into Lyle’s bed for any reason at all, I do not accept this as plausible and really this GN induced retardation of Anew is getting out of hand. Secondly if Soma were really back she’d kill Haptsim and take Arios for herself instead of piloting GN Archer, also she would have shot Saji in the face so that Louise would beliong to her alone. How dare they try and pass off this marie as Soma, the Soma I knew would have stabbed Saji for being a cunt within 1 hour let alone four days. Overall the time skip is on the one hand it’s great on the other hand it proves that Sunrise cannot do romance and is better off not trying. With the departure of Katie and Patrick it seems that since 00bama could not be credibly evil he has to be cartoon evil after having Goodman and Homer try to elevator drop themselves. At least back in the old days they knew that even a failed colony drop could carry consequences, but here it seems that the Feddies are so into tree hugging that they cleaned it all up in 4 months and got the Africa Tower up and running again. If only Obama were that damn good so he could get that stimulus package passed. 00bama Is clearly a man of change as his government cannot only clean up the environment, he reformed the military, and almost hunted Kataron down to extinction. This man deserves four more years, if only that racist Klaus gave 00bama a chance to do good instead of trying to bully him with terrorism.

Sure you are, only after you kill Saji and kiss Louise…

Fuck you Lyle, don’t even think about it.

You still have to kiss Lousie to reactivate your account.

Sad to see that the descent of the Feddies into evil required them to drop their own elevator on themselves, well if we are lucky well get the Stardust Memory equivalent that tries to explain 00bama’s first days in office. So Bob has decided to name his new suit, Aoii, though I am really starting to dislike the fact that Bob only got a small cameo with no fighting and Prince Ali is still no where to be found. It’s fine if they want to do a time skip to gloss over how they can’t write a romance, but it’s high time that the heavy hitters start making their moves. Saji is back in the fight though at this point I care little for his bullshit reasons as it seems the time skip spared us the crying and whining. With greater speed though the action has to be up to par and having Prince Ali be a no show is not going to help that. Ms. Wang finally makes her move but her reasons seem rather lame, immortality…it’s rather cliché but whatever the sooner Ribbons orders Prine Ali to kill her the better. Renge and Ribbons finally start to have a falling out and I hope Dark Amuro makes Renge pay dearly, another kill for Prince Ali perhaps?

Ribbons’ gaze pierces earth, cloud, shadow, and flesh…

That’s right…

Enjoy growing old and ugly bitch.

Andrei is turning out to be a shit character, he kills his dad for an Ahead, though I guess if this is the price that we must pay to see Louise shoot Saji or at least dump his ass again so be it. Overall the chance for being one of the best AU Gundams pretty much went out the door when the Feddies dropped their own elevator onto themselves and the only way the terrorists can become heroes is if guys like Andrei have no moral conscience at all. Trying to sell me the idea of Anew falling in bed with Lyle was galling to say the least and indicates once again how broken these damned GN Particles are. At first Andrei seemed to have some principles and limited himself to lusting after Louise, but now… Well if CB is fighting guys like Andrei it’s hard not to look heroic. As such I just want to see Saji get heart broken again when Louise gives him a new asshole for Jihad-kun to sodomize. Marie decides to avenge Wild Bear, though if it truly were Soma she would have killed Haptsim and Jacked a Gundam by now…instead this Marie is wandering around with faux rage when her desertion was the direct cause for Andrei getting to do whatever he pleased. She should have stuck with Katie then at least Andrei could have been kept in check. Speaking of Katie and Patrick I hope they rally the Feddie Regulars and the good half of the A-Laws that weren’t in on the “Just as Planned” Elevator Drop. Revival seems to have discovered the power of love I hope he lives long enough to vie against Patrick for Katie’s hand, but I guess if there is going to be a way out for Katie and Patrick it might as well be Katie’s innovator admirer. Even with the bullshit big brother line that it being towed, it’s not that terrible if Patrick can slip under the radar. Well at least Kataron has been hounded to extinction so we no longer have to put up with how utterly useless they are. I liked it more when the Federation was just an unprincipled nation state and not generic evil empire #3720. Was it too much to hope that 00bama would have been almost 10% Stalin?

Obligatory Dauntless Shot.

Louise?

I know… It’s those damned GN Particles again…

Don’t forget the Ahead.

I hope that Marina gets a bullet to the brain after the Feddies gloriously killed Kenny (IT”S FUCKING KENNY, Kelly is a girl’s name), even if the Feddies are being forced into the evil empire caricature I can at least enjoy what little damage they can do to the terrorist scum of CB and Kataron (now more useless than before). Funny how they did not see that automaton coming down the street… Next Week I bet Prince Ali will remain MIA though if Sunrise had a pair of balls he’d have Louise kill Saji. Revival probably gets captured and if we are lucky we will get some twincest before Revival makes a great escape to rejoin Katie and make Patrick a sad puppy.