Gundam 00 S2 – 23: Going Gaga for Trans-Am

At least Patrick accomplished something before getting dropped. By the way Katie gets the pot since you were both wrong.

I am closing my 14 years of military service. When I joined the Army, even before the turn of the century, it was the fulfillment of all of my boyish hopes and dreams. The world has turned over many times since I took the oath on the plain at Sandhurst, and the hopes and dreams have long since vanished, but I still remember the refrain of one of the most popular barrack ballads of that day which proclaimed most proudly that “old soldiers never die; they just fade away.” And like the old soldier of that ballad, I now close my military career and just fade away, an old soldier who tried to do his duty as Katie gave him the light to see that duty. – Patrick Colasour

Is that right ersatz Zero?

LOL

Ribbons makes the impossible possible.

With the war entering its final stage Ribbons decides that he no longer has any use for the A-Laws and blows them all to bits while CB cries crocodile tears for the brave if misguided soldaten who gave their lives for the defense of the Federation. The Kataron cheat finally fizzles out as Klaus loses another carrier with nothing to show for it. Princess Poverty, the kiddies, and Shirin look on gleefully at the debris field where the once mighty 3rd Fleet was. After the blast the remainder limp back to port as Jihad-kun goes off against Ribbon’s ship which is called Celestial Being…indeed the name is as lame as it looks. Nevertheless after amassing a clone army and a an equal number of Gagas Ribbons’ plumb for got to build guns and beam sabers for them so he used these brand new never before seen Mobile Suits for kamikaze attacks, just like how the last one backing 1945 was full of lose and fail this one was just as bad.

I dub thee Ms. Wang Mk II

Make way for Prince Ali!

Because this show has a crappy time slot we could not show how Renge shat himself…

While the Gaga proved to be little more than a glorified baka-bomb, Billy had been working hard to create Trans-SPAM abilities and finally broke the game beyond repair as no amount of elegant coding can salvage the ho hum combat against Gagas, and to be honest its as tedious as grinding in an Korean MMO. Thankfully there is still some hope in Darth Louise who has not bought any of Saji’s bullshit of building a world on mutual understanding…I am sure for the goddamn eleven that killing gaijin equates to understanding. While Team Raiser is busy fighting Louise, Care and Revival kick the shit out of Tieria; so much for that secret Seraphim system… Elsewhere Lasse wanting to be an even bigger hack tries to promote Trans-Am, I have to say I liked this show more before Jihad-kun got all red like a fucking communist but whatever I guess we all know what audience they are playing to now. I guess the devotees of Tomino can just stick to UC stuff from now on. Though if you love Trans-Am and thought that it was the best idea EVAR I bet you just jizzed in your pants.

Carrier has arrived.

You’d think that by now Patrick would have earned something for his troubles, but I guess marrying Katie was all he ever wanted anyway.

So sad to see that this was to be the last we see of these magnificent vessels.

Nevertheless the unintentional comedy only gets better as CB mooks who never bothered to show up since the last re-supply get blown to hell, man if only they worked that hard when there was heavy fighting before… but what ever more nameless innocent CB combatants dying is a good thing. Sumeragi takes docking lesseons from Kataron and runs her ship aground in the docking bay for no reason really as Feldt and Yellow are no match for the might of the automatons that rushed them, kekeke. Despite the relentless Gaga attacks it seems that the damage modeling in Gundam 00 is sorely lacking as there is nary a paint scratch despite the droves of Gagas striking their hulls. Last and certainly least Sumeragi decides to confront the Automatons with an assault rifle she holds Hollywood style, and who should she see? Why Billy with a pistol…too bad neither can shoot straight.

Mein Oberst thanks you for not intervening on her wedding.

Yeah it seems Katie beat you to the altar. Patrick is five times the man Emilio ever was, but at least you have Billy…Oh yeah they couldn’t find a bride’s maid out fit big enough for you, no hard feelings though.

BTW Leesa, Katie still thinks you suck.

One important thing did happen as Patrick was kicked off the server when Billy created his Trans-SPAM hack. Still I believe in the immortal powers of Patrick Colasour though it was nice to see that Katie did care. Unlike Wild Bear it seems Patrick’s “death” actually accomplished something in protecting Katie. Also Patrick confessed again, maybe when this is all over they can finally enjoy their marriage. Also Prince Ali finally got called into the game and what an entrance! No sooner does Prince Ali step onto the pitch that he killed Renge for not being a team player. Lyle thinks that he can escape from the Curse of Prince Ali as they meet one on one. Despite having no upgrade Prince Ali still hands Lyle his ass by taking out the rifle bits, the sniper rifle, and cuts off a leg for good measure, if there is one thing that Prince Ali hates its AWP campers. In the end Marie gets tackled while Haptism watches powerless like a wuss, and Ribbons and Tieria meet one on one again, but given how things turned out last time when Tieria had a gun I don’t put much faith in the dark purple innovator’s shooting skills certainly Ribbons is running 2-0 against Renge and Tieria’s pistol skills.

Worry not Patrick gave you his luck.

Such a waste of a fine ship…

Obviously Shirin wanted the slaughter to continue…no doubt she will blame a Zionist Entity for this.

Impression:

Well I did call it Trans-Am was the worst thing that ever happened to Gundam 00 first it was simply a hack for the losers of CB (because heaven forbid if they actually improved as pilots), then it was a consolation prize for Bushido Bob when they denied his application for Erupting Burning Finger, and now Sunrise has gone Gaga for their innovation in hax. Ah well at this point it was to be expected, the clone army was little more than a suicide squad, but still it’s a tragic waste of the Gaga which actually looks kind of cool, but who is going to buy a kit with no guns? Maybe it will have a button that blows it up or something. Patrick gets kicked from the server since were to believe that this is SRSFKN business now, and at least we can hope that there will be a pile of dead terrorists by the end. I doubt Patrick is dead since he has survived this all before, but it was nice to see Katie finally voice how much she cares for her loyal Patrick. I don’t give two shits about Haptism and Marie since their plot line should have been killed off some time ago anyway, but here’s hoping that Ali kills them both after tearing Lyle a new asshole. Seeing as how there don’t seem to be any one to fight them unless Bob shows up with a new suit or something, having them shoot Gagas for the next two eps is hardly going to be exciting. Andrei tried to be useful, but because Jihad-kun has become a wuss after Saji had jizzed in his ass docked one too many times Andrei gets to live.

Take it! Take it all Leopard!

In the end it’s a just a giant sperm cell…well that is one way to seed a colony.

Great job guys thanks for showing up, BTW none of you get VAs.

Some other decent points included Katie berating Sumeragi for being stupid and failing at life. Best of all however was that Prince Ali had returned and his opening move was to kill off Renge who was a shitty villain to begin with, since Dark Amuro is all the evil we need. I was giddy when Prince Ali was hacking Lyle’s weapons off. Still since the game is broken I am not ruling out another miraculous Trans-Am since Ptolemy did one all on its own when last time it needed at least one docked Gundam to pull it off. Then there was the running out of missiles bullshit that was miraculously solved. Whatever they are catering to the SEED school of combat now, and it is a shame that Prince Ali did not get an upgrade after all his hard work while Bushido Bob got three custom suits for doing nothing. Ah well next week Tieria proves how he can’t shoot straight, Prince Ali continues to pwn Lyle like a little bitch, Team Raiser and Louise yell at each other some more, Billy wusses out and fails to kill Sumeragi (though I hope the automaton can finish them both off), Feldt and Desu-Yellow sit on their asses doing nothing, while Lasse starts cutting himself because O-Gundam can’t Trans-Am. All in all I have my doubts that they can wrap up everything at this point, I get the sense this will be pew pew lazors with Kamikaze and nakkid time. So unless Ribbons kicks the shit out of Tieria early, my hopes for seeing a Hi Nu Gundam 00 Raiser just dived deeper than the Dow Jones.

Yeah no one is buying your BS Leesa.

Crashing through the sky, comes a fearful cry!
Cobra! Cobraaaaa!
Cobra! Cobraaaaa!

Armies of the night! Evil taking flight!
Cobra! Cobraaaaa!
Cobra! Cobraaaaa!

Nowhere to run!
Nowhere to hide!
Panic spreading far and wide!
Who can turn the tide?

Can the world oppose, deadliest of foes?
Cobra! Cobraaaaa!
Cobra! Cobraaaaa!

Joes will risk it all to end the evil call,
of Cobra! Cobraaaaa!
Cobra! Cobraaaaa!

They never give up!
They never say die!
Walking tall with banners high!
They sound the battle cry!

Still Bob is the only wild card left so here is hoping for another Masurao variant, if not I want to see Bushido Bob cut himself. Might was well finish this series despite the Gaga rush, mostly because I want to see Prince Ali slice Lyle up into little tiny pieces, and at least there we might have a good fight for once. If nothing else it’s not over until the fat lady, which is Marina after she eats the fat kid, sings. Well whatever the reason why Homer and Goodman distrusted the innovators I doubt they will try and explain it now. Still at least no one went shopping.

Leaderboardwise Prince Ali cements his dominance over the rest by more than doubling the number of his kills closest rival the Unknown Soldaten of the Federation. Billy thought that he could rachet up the number of kills with Trans-Spam but only unique kills are counted. More over like the Fett clones it seems that Ribbon’s clone army suffers from the same flaw in that they aren’t nearly as good as the originals. Hilling Care almost gets a kill off Tieria but it seems that plot armor is still in effect, maybe Ribbons can kill steal. Andrei almost gets raped by Team Raiser but since the three of them are taking orders from Saji any further kills seem unlikely.

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Arche fahren
Gar weit in’s Meer hinaus.
Arche jagen
Reißzähne aus den Rohren raus,

Jagen Renge, Renge in den Tod.
Jagen Renge, Renge in den Tod.
in den Tod.

Ein Bersten und ein Krachen
Zerreißt des Dampfers Schal’
Die letzte Fahrt zu machen:
Ist das nicht Todeswahl?

Arche fahren -
Gar weit in’s Meer hinaus.
Arche jagen
Reißzähne aus den Rohren raus,

Jagen Lyle, Lyle in den Tod.
Jagen Lyle, Lyle in den Tod.
in den Tod.

Jagen Lyle, Lyle in den Tod.
Jagen Lyle, Lyle in den Tod.
in den Tod.

Jagen Lyle, Lyle in den Tod.
Jagen Lyle, Lyle in den Tod.
in den Tod.

In case you never saw Das Boot here is s crude translation of sorts:

The hour has come
Dylandy’s power fades
Through Prince Ali’s strength
Great Fatherland’s power lives

Arche sail
Far, far into the sea
Arche hunt
Fangs out of the tubes
Hunt Renge, Renge into death
Hunt Renge, Renge into death
Into death

A bursting and a creaking
Breaks the steamer’s hull
To make this last journey
Isn’t that a choice of death?

Arche sail
Far, far into the sea
Arche hunt
Fangs out of the tubes
Hunt Lyle, Lyle into death
Hunt Lyle, Lyle into death
Into death

Hunt Lyle, Lyle into death
Hunt Lyle, Lyle into death
Into death

Hunt Lyle, Lyle into death
Hunt Lyle, Lyle into death
Into death

Useless Sumeragi is useless.

Sucking eggs it seems mein Oberst…

Yeah Sumeragi also doesn’t check her mirrors when driving either.

Patrick Mad!

I guess Patrick is capable of anger.

Server problems again Patrick?

There there Katie Patrick will be back, or his name isn’t the Immortal Colasour.

Cue Tachikoma Song.

Louise has you now…

If only you could hyperburst…

I guess Lasse can’t drive manual either.

Safety’s on…

That’s not how you aim…

You were expecting Emilio?

I am here to collect the rent…

Right you are again Lord Louise.

Indeed this show would have been so much better without Saji.

Patrick Appreciation GO!

I guess in the end she did sign. Could have done worse, at least Patrick is no Billy. Worse comes to worse you can be together again in a another life.

Current Standings.