White Album – 09: Esak Akira

Hippies are cooler than these two at least hippies have LSD…

I saw that BMW you were driving in perforated with .50 cal rounds and torched on the side of the road. I took a look inside corpses blown to pieces, burnt, unrecognizable. No camera, no tape recorder…  no…no book so maybe you’re dead maybe your not. Maybe you’ll find these tapes and do whatever the hell you wanted with them, or maybe the interview is over, wasted words, wasted life…I’ll see you around. – Rina Ogata

Kampfer Fujii stays up a night wondering how it was possible he could have fathered such a sissy.

I see that 1986 Japanese are still making shitty rifles.

Oh good grief he even went for the book, this Touya certainly knows no shame…

Touya and Misaki finish their shitty props and sissy guns because a de-militarized Garand was just too hard core for them. Heck why didn’t they just go to Tokyo Bay and fish out those crappy Arisakas that no one wanted at the end of the war? I guess Touya is afraid of water too. So it seems that Misaki finally gets her shit play onto the stage. Thankfully even if Tamaru is a punk ass mother fucking rapist at least he realized how fucking fruity it all looked. Misaki did not do her research and Landser Fujii was simply aghast at how she could make the uniforms look like something out of the Renaissance Fair. In the end Kampfer Fujii was so enraged that he stayed up in to the wee hours of the night to make it all GRIMDARK. Touya slept in late the next day, compare this to his dad who gets up early every morning to run. Yuki shows up at her shit university to give the crappiest concert of all time. Still since the school is for retards all the little boys were going on and on about how pretty Yuki was standing on stage refusing to sing. Sadly there were no Vajra around to make Yuki pay for her lack of dedication to her song.

Even in 1986 Japanese School Girls had a few sluts among them only Mana is so dumb she gives Touya money…

Cuz you are SUPER SPECIAL.

Responsible parenting means judging your kids, every day.

So instead of having Haruka or Mana buy the tickets they decide to not pay at all and sneak up all the way to lighting area. Touya had offered to pay, but Misaki was a cheap bitch who wanted to cheat herself of profit. Once again Touya shows how fucked up his priorities are in life when he can pay for a ticket but not his rent. He even slept on he job at Mana’s room. Speaking of the dumb loli that can’t recognize people I still cannot believe that she isn’t using this grand opportunity to make AWESOME pictures of Touya while he dozes off. Had it been in a barracks things would have been different for instance having girly finger nails would have been the least of his worries… Instead Mana wanted to ride his schlong, the whole inch of it but backed of in the end because cowardice is endemic of Yuunagi students except for Padre Akira. So Misaki and Touya make their way through the place which has a ton of junk proving that Thespians are hobos as they never throw out anything. Akira got so tired of Misaki’s bull shit that he joined the seminary to become the Beichtwebel (Confessions Sergeant) of Lander Fujii. As a Hollenabwehr-kanone (anti-Hell Gun) Akira was fully certified as a Beerdigungs-komiker (comedian at a funeral) which was to later prove useful.

Oh hi Yucki-san still can’t sing i see, well there are still auditions for William Hung and his Hung Jury.

Touya sets a new record for sleeping in, as of today he woke up at 5 pm…

Indeed who needs Misaki when Catholic school girls are so much hotter…

So they try to make their way in, but because Misaki is fat and Touya has no muscle mass they struggle and eventually have to call it quits. It seems that quitting for both these losers is a way of life, too bad they did not got with Kampfer Fujii while he did PT in the morning. So it turns out that Misaki was ripping off of Pat Benetar’s Love is a Battlefield while writing her shit story. It’s all supposed to be deep in an emo poser kind of way according to Misaki, sure… I see it now the fruity colors were symbolic of how Misaki and all of them except Akira had shit taste and lousy fashion sense. The one man entry was symbolic of how retarded they all are. The lame ass toy guns were symbolic of how Touya has such crappy schlong and the 6.5mm barrel was symbolic of his diameter. The poor oppressed hippies were like Misaki who joined something as lame as the Thespian club. The mean people were like Yuki who ran around with Touya’s wang in hand…

…

Why were you born?

Piss poor entry… no flash bang, no four man stack, hell not even a button hook.

So Touya tries to edge Misaki onto to tears as he mentions Akira whom the hippie fears the most, more than Tamaru since decency and honor were anathema to a dirty little whore like Misaki. She runs away at the mere mention of the newly anointed Hollenabwehr-kanone Akira who is God’s most feared servant. God decided to piss on Misaki by having Jesus toss a bunch of pipes on her. Touya being one to put a ho before a bro shuts Misaki up by kissing her. If he were a man he would have slapped her and told her dumb ass to pull herself together. In the end Touya runs away because that is what cowards do best. God teleports Padre Akira to Misaki who is dying of stupidity. Since Misaki had sinned by not giving the Thespian club Japanese Type 94 pistols God ruled that it was time for her to die. However, as much as God would have liked to see those Type 94s going off and killing off Thespians whenever so much as a fleck of dust got on them, Jesus implored a bit of mercy. Thus was Misaki condemned to a slow death as Akira kept asking is she would accept Jesus in her life and if she would want her last rites before going to hell. At Misaki’s funeral Akira played the role of Beerdigungs-komiker for Misaki magnificently as he pointed out how well Misaki had lived in life by staying around her rapist and trying to steal Yuki’s man. He also gave a fine eulogy to Misaki’s play which was so awful they burned all the scripts and for once tossed out all her props.

Louder!

Uh Miskaki did you just cut the cheese?

Even the holy spirit hates Misaki…

So yes Misaki tries to stab Yuki in the back before Rina, oh how God smiles upon Rina as she is not even manstealing before Yuki’s so called friend Misaki. I applaud Rina for proving all of her enemies wrong when the first attempt at manstealing was from Yayoi, and the second incidence where Touya initiated the Kiss was in the case of Misaki. Oh how delightful it is to see a friendship between two dumb ruined by a mere boy that cannot hold down a steady job. Let’s be honest Touya’s tutoring gig is not a job that would imply that he actually works its charity. At least in the New Deal people were paid to dig a hole in the ground, but not Touya as his girlish physique had to be maintained through his unwillingness to do manual labor. Haruka was useless and soon I hope Akira can be a Beerdigungs-komiker for her as well. Mana is an idiot and continues to support that lout Touya by wasting her mom’s money on a crap tutor. Truly Mana is a spoiled little rich bitch I hope that once her mom tosses her out that Mana will be the female Touya. I hope when that happens Mana will be pregnant with Touya’s fourth little bastard. I wonder when Yuki will sing, if nothing else she can be the new inspiration to William Hung. Unlike some one with chutzpah like say Kampfer Fujii Yuki could never sing a song from the heart like never giving Touya up, never letting him down, etc.

Touya turns out to be a fan of rioting quietly instead of Quiet Riot, given his jealousy of the mass of Yuki fanboys who like the shallowest of idols. If all else fails Yuki can lipsync and do ho down, and Touya will still love her, and make a videos about leaving her alone…

That’s some loyalty Touya.

The kind that only deserves death.

God didn’t even smack him and he’s alredy crying, must be the small weiner.

QUALITY idol…

I have been send by God to punish you…

Today you die…

QUALITY punishment.

…That will not save you.

Thus did Beichtwebel Akira exorcise Misaki.