Ok, we already know way ahead of time that Queen’s Blade is not for those looking for a philosophical take on shounen series. However, even after bracing myself for the possible fanservice eye-rape, I am still amazed at the way it pushes the boundaries of fanservice rape. In a very strange way, I am actually half-impressed by their attempts. Of course, it is up to you whether you wish to read this review, because if you know my preference of anime, you can imagine my response to this show.
Anyway, find out about the first episode of Queen’s blade here, as the new spring season begins. Oh, I am back for the spring season too, if you notice I disappeared for the last two months.
This post is rated above 18 for nudity content and is obviously NOT SAFE FOR WORK. If you want big nice screenshots, go to Mahou Meido Meganekko’s entry on this.
Episode 1 summary
The Queen’s blade is a tournament where all the beauties of the world fought in order to be queen. A girl named Reina was traveling when she attempted to fight a monster who can regenerate. She was about to be killed by this monster, when she was “saved” by Risty. It turned out that Reina had a ransom on her head (the ransom given by her family), and Risty tried to claim it. However, in the process, Risty was captured by Reina’s family for charges of burglary. Reina actually tried to run away from home, as she was forcefully installed as the new Earl. She wanted to choose her future, rather than following the wishes of the previous Earl. Risty eventually tried to escape, but was stopped by Claudette, the oldest sister of the family. Reina, on the other hand, decided to become stronger but the monster came back to take her life. However, Reina managed to kill that monster and decided to go on a journey to become stronger.
Warning: You are going to read one of the most venomous reviews I have ever written, and I have written reviews for close to 2.5 years. Consider yourself warned
If you think my summary is lacking of any proper substance, it is a reflection of how the whole flimsy plot of Queen’s blade is about. It is a sad piece of anime material where it is trying to squeeze the amount of ways you can exploit the mammary glands of a woman to incite happiness to porn and hentai viewers. Of course, everyone enjoys some form of fantasy while seeing women becoming stark naked. It is generic for its story line, with horribly lame characters that are there simply to expose their breasts at a future stage of the show. The story is almost non-existent, and I must say that the character lack any distinctive attitude to them.
If this is actually shown on actual Japanese television, it should be censored at the least. The shock of seeing uncensored nipples (despite the fact that the time it was shown meant that most kids will be asleep) in all its glory makes me wonder how the censors for free-to-air television manages to miss this shocker. Then, we have this monster-like bunny that uses her hand-shaped hair to squeeze streams of acid through her nipples.
Yes, it’s true that it actually happens. In fact, she manages to use that attack to almost destroy the heroine of this episode, Reina. Obviously, with acid and the experience of watching really crappy fanservice shows like this one, you know that means the main character’s armor will immediately dissipate to show you her boobs. Sad times for Impz.
Then, I have a complete shock of my life when I remembered what Calawain told me about the series: the top-draw seiyuu in this series. Then, I actually realize that I am watching Ayako Kawasumi’s character practically naked for 1/4 to 1/3 of the show. That was a double whammy and made me wonder: are all the seiyuu interested in starring for a pseudo-porn series on national television?
Don’t get me wrong. Everyone knows I hate fanservice with a passion but I can understand why fanservice lovers such as Calawain likes Kanokon. Sure, it’s low brow humor with lots of boobs and panties and what’s not, but it has some form of humor. It might be low and perverted, but at least there is a reason why it is there at the very least. In addition, I am not that oblivious to note that there’s a market for people who likes fanservice. Me not liking this DOES NOT MEAN others can’t. However, this cannot forgive the fact that the extragavant fanservice in Queen’s blade is utterly bland and is simply for the appreciation of porn and self-indulgence. There is absolutely no reason and meaning behind any of the abundant fanservice. Why waste 24 minutes on merely boobs? It’s better to watch hentai: At least there’s sex and sexual cries involved.
The ending definitely gave me the right to proclaim this as the worst opening episode of the season. I do not think that any other show this season manages to be so mentally repulsive in the way it present itself. The reason why the summary is so lacking at the end is because Reina actually tries to kill the monster by pressing the monster’s gigantic boobs with her not-so-small boobs. The monster’s boobs, due to the friction between the boobs, started to expand and eventually explode. Of course, the explosion caused by the friction of the boobs managed to kill the monster herself. This kind of ridiculous crap only appear in porn shows, and I am appalled why they even bother to show this. Why?
Graphics are above-average, and I guess they hope to milk as much as they can over this franchise. A quick check on ARMS tells the whole story. They are behind many hentai/fanservice series such as Body transfer, Zettai Shougeki ~Platonic Heart~ (no wonder this show is so crap) and Ikkitousen: Great Guardians. Music is non-existent as well, and you know the seiyuu part already.
In conclusion, if you are interested to see your favorite seiyuus in some pseudo-porn action, it’s really time to watch this. Other than that, I can find absolutely no reason to watch this tasteless, bore, repulsive piece of anime. Yes, even if you like fanservice, you might want to think twice. Of course, there’s another reason to watch this: just to see how bad it gets.