SENSITIVE INTELLIGENCE REPORT – RESTRICTED DISSEMINATION
SUBJECT: 1. TOTAL SHOUJO SUPERIORITY ATTAINED IN OPENING HOURS OF CONFLICT.
……………2. ENEMY CHANGING TO ASYMMETRIC TACTICS, FIRST ATTACK BY NEW MEANS.
DATE: MID DECEMBER 2009
1. DESPITE BEING CAUGHT UNAWARE SAWAKO QUICKLY AND COMPLETELY NEUTRALIZED ALL INITIAL ATTACKS UNDERTAKEN BY KURUMI. VARIOUS METHODS INCLUDING FALSE FRIENDSHIP, APPEALS TO ASSIST, SYMPATHY/GUILT, AND CONVENTIONAL ANGER WERE ALL THWARTED WITHIN SECONDS OF THE START OF OPERATIONS. ENEMY RETREATED IN SHOCK AND DISARRAY AMID HEAVY LOSSES AND IS CURRENTLY NO LONGER IN A POSITION TO CARRY ON WITH CONVENTIONAL COMBAT. EXCELLENT WORK.
2. WHILE APPEARING RECEPTIVE TO PEACE NEGOTIATIONS, KURUMI IS IN FACT IMPLEMENTING AN ASYMMETRIC STRATEGY NOW THAT CONVENTIONAL MEANS HAVE BEEN NEUTRALIZED. INITIAL DISINFORMATION OPERATION WITH THE AIM OF DIVERTING SAWAKO ATTENTION TO CURRENTLY NEUTRAL PARTY RYUU IS LIKELY THE FIRST PHASE IN A RENEWED EFFORT TO ACQUIRE ACCESS TO KAZEHAYA AND/OR CONDUCT ASYMMETRIC ATTACKS ON SAWAKO.
With all the worrying that everyone, myself included, had about Sawako acting like a doormat at first and actually helping Kurumi until later in the story, it was fracking spectacular to see Sawako neutralize and frustrate every effort by Vichy-tan in rapid succession. When Kurumi asked for help, Sawako replied without hesitation that she couldn’t help her due to her own feelings for Kazehaya. When she tried to guilt her by saying that Sawako was the only one who could help her, Sawako stood firm in her feelings. Then she tried eliciting sympathy by playing up how much she likes Kazehaya and wondering aloud if she should give up. And Sawako came right back with a firm but understanding and gentle reply that she understands but still cannot help. And when Ume revealed her true colors and went into full on anger, Sawako stood her ground not shaken in the slightest, and frustrated her rival further by not believing that such harsh words were coming from the girl in front of her. It was a beautiful sight to behold. Not since the Six Day War has there been such rapid and total domination of the enemy. I cheered, I clapped, I pumped my fist at the screen as I watched. It was perhaps one of the best moments out of any show so far this season.
After the two had done battle, the sports festival is about to begin and the class is preparing for the games. Chizu, in her three times faster red shirt, leads the girls soccer team to the field for the game, and before everyone heads out Kazehaya wishes Sawako luck and gives her a terrorist fist jab. Not only is this a cute moment between the two, but it also starts the ‘Zashiki Warashi Effect’ and everyone competing in the games that day seeks Sawako’s blessing of their quest for victory. First up is the girls soccer game and the game is a near run thing. It comes down each team needing one final goal, and at the critical moment when a gap appears in their lines Sawako uses her Kuroko teleportation activities (desu wa), stops the ball, and boots it back down field. And just to make things better, one of Sawako’s shoes flies off as she kicks the ball. Unbeknownst to her, Kurumi is downfield walking towards Kazehaya and expecting to talk to him when the shoe lands right.on.her.head. (STATION CONGRATULATES TARGET DESIGNATION TEAM ON SUCCESSFUL PGM STRIKE) Back in the game, the ball is now passed to Chizu whose unstoppable charge sends the ball smoking right into the back of the net, winning the game.
Kurumi holds on to the shoe, and once again Sawako takes her for being nicer than she really is, despite Kurumi not even trying to hide her true nature much anymore, and even invites her to come along and cheer on the boys softball match. Ayane tells her not to lose before she departs to get ready for the girls’ volleyball match, the comment passing over Sawako’s head, but probably understood on some level. Ayane is a sharp and devious one, and in service to True Love and Friendship she will serve Sawako well. At the boys’ game Sawako and Kurumi sit on the sidelines, Kurumi trying a few more attacks and failing miserably once more. She even tries to take credit for Kazehaya’s wave that was meant for Sawako, but it was clear to anyone who’s not a self-delusional yandere who he was waving at. Out on the field the boys team gets together and recounts the Legend of Sawako and how she helped win the game, when Ryuu corrects the other boys about her name being Sawako and not Sadako. Kazehaya seems to feel a temporary bit of undue jealousy, but Ryuu has no ulterior motives, he was simply the victim subject of Chizu’s name memory training. Vichy-tan meanwhile is still at it, trying to undermine Sawako’s confidence indirectly by saying that she would feel the same way talking to any boy. When a stray ball heads for Sawako and Ryuu catches it right before it hits her in the face, Kurumi seizes on what she sees as a potential opening. Her new attack takes place at the sports festival, as predicted, but I doubt it will be very effective. Ryuu is clearly more interested in Chizu (not that she recognizes this yet), and Sawako isn’t as simple as her adversary thinks. At most this will be a temporary distraction, though all must be on guard lest Kurumi find some way to take advantage of the temporary confusion.
Crusader’s Record of Kazehaya War
What new villainy is this?
After having put Sawako in the hot seat to help her seize Kazehaya, her ploy falls flat and Ume the Useless cries about how hard it is to be pretty and popular. Her false tears do not help her though as Sawako’s gut reaction was to signal her inability to help. Despite all her plotting Ume did not count on Sawako’s Zeus given purity of purpose and innocent intent, and thus Ume was vanquished before the spat had even begun. Sawako has become superior in soccer and was able to use her after image technique and it was nothing short of fate that had Sawako’s shoe fall on top of Ume’s head. According to Johnny Arab this is a grievous insult and I shall treat it as such for Ume is very much beneath Sawako. Having failed to destroy Sawako’s self esteem, Ume identifies a weaker target, Kazehaya. While Kazehaya is a respectable lad he has issues of his own, and his faith is sorely lacking. Long have we borne witness to Kazehaya’s moments of occasional jealousy, but now Ume has identified a weakness that seems all too exploitable. Ume now seeks to expand her war on true love and has schemes to not only counter SawakoxKazehaya, but also ChizuxRyuu. Kazehaya’s jealousy is a much softer target that Sawako or Ryuu, even the smallest praise of Sawako by other boys sends him into a panic. Patrick is very disappointed in how Kazehaya already began to fear that Ryuu had captured Sawako’s heart, silly as though it may sound to us Kazehaya is still a mere boy, but I fear that he may be far more susceptible to Ume’s trickery. Next week is when we see Kazehaya show his quality in whether or not he can see through Vichy-tan’s indefensible plot.
The longer this goes on the more hateful Ume the Ugly is, I rejoiced at her initial failure and hollow threats, but this latest ploy seems much more easy to pull off given Kazehaya’s jealousy and fear that Sawako may yet fall for another. I like how this series is keeping me on the edge of my seat and I cannot wait to see how Kazehaya will react and if Ryuu can defeat this ploy in one swift stroke. Still Swako is delightful as ever as she deftly avoids Ume’s incessant attacks and infantile tricks. Thankfully for now it seems that Ume has to worry about public opinion, how delisciously ironic that the greatest evil in this series has to worry about approval ratings.
Zeus threw Sawako’s shoe at her…
Zeus thanks you for lending it to him.
I already know who will be THE WINNER.
That THIS is the real you…
ExecutiveOtaku’s Unadulterated Adoration of Sawako and Current Intelligence Report
Or so she thinks.
Sawako physically and figuratively stops Kurumi.
HELL YEAH! Stand your ground Sawako! You’ve exceeded even my expectations.
Get on that, you Bitch in Sheep’s Clothing.
Now she drops all her pretenses and attacks directly, still to no effect.
Kurumi’s frustration at Sawako’s innocence is just the icing on the cake.
Yes, you have it so hard Kurumi. Spoiled brat can’t always get what she wants, boo hoo.
The Red Comet, Chizuru Yoshida.
Kazehaya wearing his TTGL adult Simon cosplay jacket.
Innocent good luck sign or terrorist fist jab? Ume News lets you decide.
Does this mean she gets a Dendrobium or Meteor Pack?
Getting a little more comfortable with close interaction with Kazehaya. Speechless is an improvement over nervous.
Show em your war face!
A girl after my own heart, she even plays defense like I used to.
The ball is back on the other side of the field, with the added plus of launching a Kurumi-seeking missile.
United in her triumph. How cute.
If only she were wearing cleats like she was supposed to. But hilarious nonetheless.
It’s the shoes shirt!
Worthy of some epic victory music. LIKE A STREAM TO THE PEAK sekai ichiban!
I never get tired of frustrated Kurumi face.
To the victor goes the Kazehaya.
Much like Claudia from Macross, Ayane watches over the love of her best friend, ensuring it will move along smoothly.
Nothing like making your enemy feel completely nonthreatening.
Laying it on, and not even realizing how effective it is.
Kurumi is still trying to keep up the facade for the bystanders though.
…and back to bitch mode.
Well you did tell her to stop calling you Kurumi-chan.
Pffff, you Light wannabe. Probably bought it at Hot Topic (which is not punk rock).
You lost. And the strong do what they will while the weak suffer what they must.
EO’s DAAWWWW of the Week: double daaawwww edition.
Ryuu is obviously the professional of the group. Just look at that mofo playing it cool.
Sure he did Kurumi, sure he did (get the tranquilizers and the straight jacket!)
Sawako’s Jetstream Attack.
Recently released from Chairwoman Chizu’s Name Reeducation Camps.
Oh don’t worry your pretty little love interest head over it.
Give it up Kurumi.
Seems that someone else can teleport too.
Your tricks won’t work Kurumi, especially not with Ryuu.